The Adventures of Tintin in Wonderland
by SkyDragon2996
Summary: A story requested by tiedwithribbons. What happens when Tintin suddenly falls down the rabbit hole and encounters a colorful, whimsical world of wonder? It's an adventure full of magic, weirdness, curiosity, and a whole slew of trouble that awaits the young reporter. Characters belong to SAcommeSASSY, herlizandos, RenaissanceElf, etc. Tintin characters all belong to Moulinsart.
1. Down the Rabbit Hole

_We often ask ourselves, "How do you get to Wonderland?"_

 _Do you go over the hill, or just beyond a tree?_

 _Where the clouds roll away and leave the sky?_

 _Where could that land be, the one people cannot see?_

 _But where do the stars go? And the crescent moon?_

 _They could be anywhere in the afternoon._

 _But where is the path to Wonderland?_

 _Over the hill or over there?_

 _I just wonder where..._

...

A flock of birds took to the skies as they formed a V-shaped formation above the rolling pastures of Brussels's countryside. Far from the eyes of the city, trees lined the flowering green hills. A few ducks roaming around the fields decided in favor of the beckoning water and glided across the crystal-blue pond. The countryside was indeed so peaceful.

Not too far from the pond, there lay a large oak tree that stood with such majesty, as though it had stood there for ages. Sitting beside was a lady with fine, lacelike ginger hair, a blue riding dress, and bonnet, who was reciting a text from an important-looking book on the history of Brussels. She seemed well put together and very elegant, as all women should.

The woman, named Heather, was yet again droning on about King William this, King William that. "...true leaders, and had been of late very much accustomed to all usurpation and conquest," Heather recited with a flick of her tongue. "Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Merciaand Northumbria declared for him, and even Stigand...Ooh!"

Heather felt an oak leaf fall on her face. Sighing with nonchalance, she cocked her head upward. "Tintin!" she said sternly.

Seated on a sturdy branch above her, the young man sat upright, cradling his white fox terrier Snowy. The man, who was Tintin, pulled himself together and inquired, "Hmm? Oh yes, I'm listening, Heather."

Satisfied, Heather continued with the reading. "...and even Stigand," she read, " the archbishop of Canterbury, had agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown." As she had read that sentence, Tintin could help himself and let out a giggle.

"And William's conduct at first was mo..." Tintin then started to laugh as he was dressing his dog in a crown of leaves.

Slightly angered, Heather turned to Tintin and demanded, "Tintin! Will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson?"

Tintin sighed in distaste. "I'm sorry Heather. But how can one just pay attention to a book that has no pictures in it?" Sighing, Heather answered, "Tintin, there are so many good books in the world that don't all have pictures."

"Well, maybe in this world, perhaps," Tintin added. "But if I had a world of my own, then it would just be nothing but pictures all around." "Oh Tintin, stop that," Heather told him. "That is just nonsense."

"Nonsense?" Tintin questioned. Heather ignored him and went back to the book. "Now, once more," she said. "From the top." Feeling disillusioned, Tintin reluctantly climbed down the tree without Heather noticing. "That's it, Snowy," Tintin said. "If I had my own world, then everything would be complete nonsense." He then continued toward the open fields.

"Nothing will be wht they are," Tintin continued, reclining on the soft grass, "because they'll be what they weren't before. Likewise, what is was isn't, and what it isn't now, it is. You see what I mean, Snowy?"

" _Rowf!_ " Snowy barked. "Of course, in my world, you wouldn't say 'woof'," Tintin told Snowy. "Instead, you'd say, 'Yes, Mister Tintin'." " _Rowf_! _Rowf_!" "But you would!" Tintin told Snowy. "You'd be just like everyone else, Snowy, and other animals too." He then sat up to lie down once gain, flat on his body.

"Hmm, in my world," Tintin wondered aloud to himself, "animals that are well dressed and live in such prestigious houses...in my own world. Then flowers could sit and talk to me for hours and hours, when I'm all alone in my own little world." Tintin then watched his reflection in the pond, the tiny waves rippling back and forth.

"And I'll see a dozen nice and friendly birds, everyone can see that," Tintin mumbled, almost lulling himself to a slight whisper. "I can listen to a babbling brook, playing a song I understand. I just wish all this could be that way," Tintin whispered as he touched the glistening water with his hand, "it'll be my own wonderland..."

Feeling quite sleepy now, Tintin sighed heavily and carried Snowy over to a tall maple tree. Resting his head against the trunk of the tree, Tintin slowly drifted into a peaceful sleep.

...

"Hmmm, hmm hmmm hmm, do-do-do-do-do..."

Snowy was sound asleep when the strange humming noise woke him with a start. Cocking his head, Snowy turned to find that it was only Professor Calculus...with rabbit ears?!

" _Rowf_!" Snowy began to bark loudly. " _Woof woof woof_! _Rowf Rowf_!"

"Arg, Snowy. What do you want now?" Tintin muttered sleepily, waking up. He then turned to see where Snowy was barking. "Oh, give it a rest, Snowy," Tintin mumbed. "It's just the Professor, he..." Tintin rubbed his eyes to get a better look. "Wait a minute, Professor Calculus?" Tintin asked, startled. "With...rabbit ears? A-And a...a big watch?!"

Professor Calculus, still swinging his little pendulum, then took out a rather large watch out of his pocket and gasped. "Oh dear!" he started to say. "Goodness me, I'm late. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" He then took off, striding the pathway rather swiftly.

"Strange!" Tintin said, getting up. "Now what could he be late for?" He then took off for the Professor. "Professor!" he called out. "Please, Professor! Wait!" Snowy then began sprinting toward Tintin as he continued pursuing the Professor.

"Oh dear, am I late!" Professor Calculus told himself, picking up speed as he continued walking. "I'm late! Late for a very important date! No time to say hello. I am very late!"

Tintin heard what the Professor was sying to himself, and he started to wonder. "Now I wonder what could be so important now," he wondered. "It must be very important; maybe he's off to a party? Or something else?" He then started to run swiftly. "Professor Calculus!" Tintin called out. "Professor! Wait! Please!"

"Goodness me, I am so overdue!" Professor Calculus said, watching the time on his watch slowly ticking away. "Now I am in the stew. No time to say hello now! Goodness, I'm late!" Professor Calculus then reached a sturdy oak tree far from the countryside, where a most unusual thing happened. The Professor then began to shrink down to the size of a rabbit, and then he disappeared into a tiny, rabbit-sized hole inside the tree.

Panting heavily, Tintin finally reached the tree where the Professor had disappeared into. Snowy then began snuffing the dirt on the ground, sniffing around until he began pawing at the rabbit hole. " _Rowf_!" Snowy began to bark, alarming Tintin. " _Rowf_! _Rowf_! _Rowf_!"

"Huh," Tintin said, looking at the rabbit hole below him. "Seems like a weird place to host a party, eh Snowy?" Tintin said, kneeling down. " _Rowf_!" Snowy barked again.

"Hmm, if I want to know more about whatever it is that the Professor's late for, then I must investigate this," Tintin said aloud. He then got to his knees and crawled inside. Strangely enough, Tintin was able to fit inside the rabbit hole, as if it almost expanded magically for him to fit through such a tiny space.

"Ugh, you know, Snowy," Tintin grunted as he crawled further inside, "we really...unngh...be...doing this...unngh. And there was...ennngh!...no...invitation sent out...for...us!" He soon reached the far end of the hole.

"And you know what they say, Snowy," Tintin muttered as he kept crawling further inside the hole. "They say curiosity will soon lead us to certain troub-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhh!"

Tintin then tripped over a small ledge, and he suddenly found himself falling. He could practically hear Snowy barking frantically for his owner.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiieeee!" Tintin cried out as he was falling. "Goodbye now, Snowy!" he called out, waving farewell to Snowy as he waved his paw in return. "Goodbye...!" Suddenly, Tintin felt the force of the gravity pulling him further as he kept falling, falling, falling...

...


	2. Through the Door and into Wonder

"Whoooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa!"

...

By this time, Tintin was already falling down the rabbit hole for a long time. "Maybe after this, I shouldn't have thought of fa-falling downstairs!" Tintin cried out. Feeling the force of the gravity pulling him even further, Tintin noticed a tablecloth peeking out from a nearby ledge. Quickly, he grabbed both ends and soon enough, the cloth inflated like a parachute.

"Ah! Oh...!" Tintin said, suddenly floating more gracefully. "Oh goodness!" He then noticed a lamp and turned it on, giving the rabbit hole a much-needed lit atmosphere. "This is strange," Tintin said to himself as he glided down. "I wonder...what if I fell right through the center of the earth?" He noticed his reflection in a mirror, turned upside down.

"Hmm, then again, if I came out the other side," Tintin wondered as he dodged a mannequin hanging from a grandfather clock, "then I might come out the other end, where people walk upside down. Imagine that." Tintin did not noticed that the dirt walls were beginning to turn into black, purple, and green tiled walls.

"No no, that would be silly," Tintin said as he avoided collision with a pair of lady's dress shoes, an umbrella, and a giant jar full of strawberry jam. "Nobody else would...Oof!" Tintin then landed on the hard ground. "Ha ha, how convenient," he said, brushing the dust off his shoulder.

"Goodness me, I am very much late!" a voice called out. Tintin turned and noticed Professor Calculus striding quickly down the hallways. "Hey!" Tintin exclaimed, chasing after the Professor. "Professor! Please, wait!"

Tintin then kept running until he came into a peculiar room, surrounded by purple and green tiled walls. There was nothing in there, with the exception of a glass table at the center. Though there was nothing much to look at, it was still eerily silent.

Walking around, Tintin explored the room until he noticed a tiny door beneath his feet. "Hmm," Tintin muttered. "This just gets curiouser and curiouser." He then reached for the door. ""Now, if this is my ticket out..." he whispered as he turned the knob.

"Ooooooohhhhh!"

"Oh!" Tintin exclaimed, jerking his hand away at the cry. "I do beg your pardon! I...Nestor? Is that you?" Oddly enough, the door handle was shaped like the prim butler of Marlinspike, Nestor, whose nose was the doorknob. "Who?" the doorknob asked. "Never mind, it's quite all right. You did give me quite a turn, you did!"

"I do apologize," Tintin answered. "See, I was just following..." "Rather good, hmm?" the doorknob asked. "Doorknob, turn?" "Um, excuse me?" Tintin questioned, rather confused. "But, one good turn does deserve another," the doorknob continued on. "Now then...what can I do for you?"

"Oh, yes," Tintin answerd diligently. "You see, I just happened to be following a white rabbit. Now, if you don't mind..." Tintin then reached for the knob once more. "Hmm? Oh! I say!" the doorknob exclaimed as he felt his nose getting turned around.

"I see him!" Tintin said, peering through the opening and found the Professor standing outside. Closing the door, Tintin then told the doorknob, "Please, Mr. Doorknob. I simply must pass through."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," the doorknob replied sternly. "No?" Tintin asked. "You're much too big to enter. It's simply impassible," the doorknob told him. "Don't you mean 'impossible'?" Tintin asked. "No no, 'impassible'," the doorknob corrected. "Nothing else is impossible!" He then eyed the glass table. "As a matter of fact, why don't you try the bottle on the table?" he asked.

"Bottle?" Tintin asked, turning his head around. Sure enough, there was a tiny pink bottle on the table. "Ah, now I see it!" Tintin said, walking over to the table. "Now, if you'll just read the directions, you'll be directed in the right direction," the doorknob had said.

Grabbing the bottle, Tintin noticed the tag on the bottle. "Hmm...'Drink me'," he read out loud. As he removed the cap, he studied it more carefully. "Well...I'd better look first," he muttered, "because if one were to drink from a bottle marked 'Poison', then it's clear to disagree a certain time soon." The doorknob was confused. "I do beg your pardon?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. I was just giving myself some good advice," Tintin said as he brought the bottle to his lips. "Well, here goes." At that moment, Tintin took a swig of the strange liquid, swallowed, and paused for a minute. "Mmmm...strange. This tastes like, um...cherry," he said. He then took another sip. "Now this tastes like custard pie," he noted. Suddenly, he found himself growing even smaller. "And, mmm...pineapple?" he asked as he swallowed another drop.

"And roasted turkey-Whoa!" Tintin stumbled backward, letting the now enlarged bottle topple on top of him. "What just happened?" he asked, lifting the tag from his head. "I do say!" the doorknob chuckled. "You almost went out like a light." "But that doesn't matter now," Tintin said excitedly. "Look! Now I'm the perfect height!" He then reached for the knob, only to be stopped once again.

"Oopsie, no use!" the doorknob chuckled again. "Seems I forgot to tell you. I'm locked." Tintin's smile faded. "No!" he exclaimed, feeling guilty. "Well, no worries, though," the doorknob told him. "You have the key, so..." "Key? What key?" Tintin asked.

"Now, don't tell me you left it up there!" the doorknob said, directing his attention toward a heart-shaped key atop the table. "I would've known," Tintin muttered. He then tried to climb up the leg of the table. But instead, he slid down the leg and fell over, for the glass was slippery.

"Now what do I do?" Tintin asked, pondering his situation. "Then why don't you try the box?" the doorknob told him. Soon enough, a tiny box appeared at Tintin's feet. "Ah!" Tintin said. Taking the box, Tintin opened it to find multicolored cookies lined with white and purple frosting.

Tintin then took out a green star-shaped cookie with white frosting and words written in purple icing. "Hmm...'Eat Me','' Tintin read aloud. "Very well then." He then took a big bite out of the cookie. "Goodness know what this'll lead to...Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!" Tintin suddenly found himself growing to a larger size, until he became the size of a giant and was practically the same size as the entire room.

"Mmmrrfffghhhmffburrffffggh!" the doorknob mumbled aloud, for his face was smashed on Tintin's now large foot. Picking his leg up, Tintin asked, "What? What did you say?" Wrinkling his nose, the doorknob replied, "I said: well, a little of that must have went a long way! Ha!"

Now Tintin was beginning to feel even more upset than ever. "Well...that may be funny to you," Tintin said, his voice faltering to a mere whimper. "Now, th-then I may never...find a way out of here..." Soon, big tears lobbed out of Tintin's eyes, falling to the floor like giant raindrops.

"Ooh! Oh, come now. Crying won't help, boy," the doorknob told Tintin, nearly avoiding a giant teardrop splashing on him. "Yes, I know that," Tintin said, almost whining, "b-but I...I-I just don't know how to stop!" By then, Tintin was practically howling with loud sobs. The teardrops emulating from his eyes had now become the size of beluga whales.

"Hey!" the doorknob exclaimed, trying to convince Tintin to calm himself. "Hey, now! Come on now!" By then, the whole room was being flooded with water. "Say now, this- _ptoooo_!-eh, this won't do at all!" the doorknob shouted, spitting out water that flooded into his mouth. "You! You up there!" he shouted to Tintin, who continued with his loud sobs, not bothering to pay any attention. "Stop now! Stop it, I say!"

Suddenly, the doorknob spotted something floating nearby. It was the pink bottle! "Oh look!" the doorknob shouted. "It's the bottle! The bo-blpblpblpblp!" Water sploshed into the doorknob's face, drowning out his words.

Tintin now heard what the doorknob had said, and picked the bottle up, already filled. It was no sooner than he swallowed a single drop that he eventually shrank down to small size.

"Whooooooaaaa!" Tintin exclaimed as he fell inside the bottle. Looking at the now flooded room, he let out a sigh. "Oh crumbs," he muttered. "Did I really cry out my eyes that much?" Without noticing, the doorknob opened his mouth, sucking in all the water.

...

By then, Tintin was now floating far away, surrounded by a vast sea of water for miles. Suddenly, Tintin picked his head up, swearing that he could've heard some sort of sea chantey from far away. Turning around, Tintin saw what looked like Captain Haddock and his friend Enzo...as a dodo and parrot?!

"Ooooooh...a sailor's life is a life for me, how I love to sail on the briny sea!" Dodo Captain Haddock was madly chanting. "And I never never ever do such thing about the weather for the weather never did a thing for me!" He then drew in a deep breath. "Ooooooh, a sailor's life is a life for me, how I do so love the vast open sea! And I ne-"

The dodo then spotted something that caught his eye. "Thunderin' typhoons, lad!" he shouted. "And other nautical expressions! Land ho!" Where to, Dodo?" the parrot, which looked like Enzo, asked.

"Dodo?" Tintin asked. "The Captain's a dodo?" From afar, the dodo laughed heartily, exclaiming, "Three points to starboard! Follow me, me hearties! Let's have ya at port in no time at all!" He then proceeded to belt out another chantey.

"Wait! Mister Captain, er-Mister Dodo!" Tintin exclaimed, trying to get the dodo's attention. But the dodo was lost in yet another seafaring revelry. "Wait!" Tintin cried out. But now the dodo and parrot were gone. Tintin was now lost at sea. "Hello?" Tintin called out. "Please! Somebody help me! Anybody?! Please! Please, I..." His words were then drowned out by an oncoming wave that splashed him back inside the bottle. Spluttering the water, Tintin called out, " _Pbbblllt! Pllbbbtt!_ Help me!"

Soon enough, Tintin was floating towards the sandy shore, toppling out of the now enlarged bottle. From afar, he could hear wild and jubilant chanting. His clothes now soggy, Tintin tried to follow the noise.

" _Forward, backward, inside, outside, come and join the chase_!" the dodo was chanting while perched atop a high stone overlooking a menagerie of sea critters prancing around. " _Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus-race!_

 _Backward, forward, outside, inside, top to bottom,_

 _never a beginning there can be no stop to_

 _skipping, bouncing, tripping, fancy free and gay._

 _I've started it tomorrow and finish yesterday!_

 _Round and round and round we go,_

 _dancing for evermore,_

 _we were once behind but now we find we'll be-_

 _Forward, backward, inside, outside, come join in our chase!_

 _Nothing's ever drier than a jolly caucus-race! Forward, back..._ "

The dodo then immediately noticed Tintin stumbling through to get in. "Ho ho! What is this?" he boasted. "Boy, you'll never get dry that way!" "Wha-Get dry?" Tintin asked, now more confused than ever. "You must run with the others!" the dodo told him. "That there's your first rule of a caucus-race, y'know!"

"B-But, how can I...?" Tintin started to asked, while trying to dodge the other creatures. "No, nonsense! I'm about as dry as a bone already!" the dodo boasted. "Well, yes, but..." Tintin started to say. "Righty-ho, lads! Let's head now!" the dodo exclaimed. "Look alive!"

While trying to dodge the creatures, Tintin paused to find...Professor Calculus! "Wait! There he is!" Tintin exclaimed. "Professor! Professor! I-Whoa!" Tintin suddenly collided with a jolly seal. Professor Calculus took out his watch and gasped. "Goodness, I am late!" he said. Swinging his little pendulum, he wandered off again. "No no no no, don't go!" Tintin cried out. "Wait!" "I must go now," Professor Calculus wondered aloud. "I do believe I am late!"

"Don't trample the fish now!" the dodo called out. "Ooh! Eric, now don't you be kicking that mackerel! William!" The dodo and the others were happily enjoying their gathering. Meanwhile, Tintin took off on a mad dash pursuing Professor Calculus.


	3. The Thompsons and the Curious Oysters

Far away from the madness unfolding at the beach, Tintin ventured off to find out where Professor Calculus was heading. Soon, he came to a secluded forest far from the shores and tried to find the Professor.

...

"Hello?" Tintin called out, wandering farther into the woods. "Professor? Professor, where are you?" Looking all around, he began to wonder. "Oh crumbs," he wondered aloud. "I was sure he'd come by here. Do you suppose he'd come over here?"

Tintin then tried to find where the Professor had wandered off. But from behind him, two oddly dressed figures were standing over him, curious to know what Tintin was searching for. "Hmm, maybe he could've gone here," Tintin said, crawling through the end of a log.

After crawling out the other end, Tintin sighed. "No," he muttered. "Now I suppose he must've-Oh!" He paused to find the two men standing before him. "The Thompsons are here too?" Tintin wondered. "This just gets stranger and stranger." He then noticed their large bowties. "Huh...'Tweedle Dee Thompson," Tintin read out loud. "And Tweedle Dum Thomson!" He then gave one of the figures a rare poke.

"Ooh!" Thompson exclaimed. "If ya think we're waxworks, you oughta pay, ya know!" He then bumped into Thomson, who added, "To be precise, if ya thought we're alive, you oughta speak to us!" Tumbling around in an oddly synchronized pattern, The Thompsons then bounced back, both saying, "That's logic!"

"Hmm, well it was nice to know you two," Tintin said, "but I'm gonna go. Goodbye." He proceeded to leave, but was stopped by the bumbling men. "Oy! You're beginning backwards, boy!" Thompson told Tintin. "Precisely!" Thomson chimed in. Then the two said, "And the first thing you do is..." They both grabbed Tintin's arms and chanted:

" _How do you do and shake hands_

 _Shake hands_

 _Shake hands_

 _How do you do and shake hands_

 _And state your name and business!_ "

"That's manners!" The Thompsons both said in unison. "Is that so?" Tintin asked, brushing the dust off his pants. "Well my name is Tintin, and I'm following Professor Calculus, and I..." "No, you can't go yet!" Thompson said. "The visit's only just begun!" Thomson added. "Look, I apologize, but..." Tintin started to say. "Ya like playin' hide and seek?" Thompson asked, coming up form behind. "Precisely," Thomson asked, coming from behind Thompson, "or button-button? Who's got the button?"

"Um, no thanks," Tintin said, trying to leave. "Oy, but if you stay long enough, we might even have a battle!" Thompson said as he and Thomson started pretending to wrestle each other. "That's very nice of you, but I have to go," Tintin said. Thompson stopped him short.

"Why?" Thompson asked. "We-Well, I'm following the Professor!" Tintin exclaimed, exasperated. "Why?" The Thompsons both asked. "I'm just curious to know where he's heading!" Tintin finally said.

"Ooh, the boy's curious!" Thompson whispered to Thomson. "Hmm mm mmm..." "And those oysters were curious too, eh?" Thomson asked. "Yes, and you remember what happened to them, eh?" Thompson asked. "Precisely," Thomson told him. "The poor things..."

"Why?" Tintin asked, overhearing them. "Whatever happened to the oysters?" The Thompsons heard him and sighed in nonchalance. "Oh no, you wouldn't be interested," Thompson said as he and Thomson started walking away. "B-But I am interested," Tintin pleaded. "No no no, you're in much too much of a hurry," Thomson said.

Tintin felt desperate, so he tried to bargain with them. "Well," he said, "maybe I could spare a little time for that..." he said. "You could?" Thompson asked, excited. "Well, go on! Have a seat!"

Tintin then sat on a boulder to listen with intent at the story. "Here we go!" Thompson exclaimed. "Presenting...'The Walrus and the Carpenter!'" "Or, to be precise," Thomson added, "'The Story of the Curious Oysters!'"

Soon, the Thompsons both began to sing and dance wildly as they started to chant:

" _The sun was shining on the sea,_

 _Shining with all its might_

 _And he did his very best_

 _To make the billows smooth and bright_

 _And this was odd, because it was..._

 _The middle of the night!_ "

...

 _A clear and desolate beach sat on the edge of the land between a sunny and night sky. Two odd figures, a walrus and a carpenter, were joyfully strolling through the sandy beach one particular day._

 _"The Walrus and the Carpenter," the Thompsons chanted,_

 _"Were walking close in hand_

 _The beach was white from side side_

 _But much too full of sand_

 _"Mr. Walrus!" said the Carpenter,_

 _"Me brain begins to perk._

 _We'll sweep this clear in half a year,_

 _If you don't mind the work."_

 _"WORK? Pfft, brrrr! Uh, the time has come." "The Walrus said," the Thompsons both answered. "To talk of other things._

 _Of shoes and ships and sealing wax_

 _Of cabbages and kings!_

 _And why the sea is boiling hot,_

 _And whether pigs have wings..._

 _Calloo, callay!_

 _No work today!_

 _We're cabbages and kings!"_

 _And with that, the Walrus swung his cane and knocked the Carpenter to the ocean's edge. Peering beneath the watery surface, the Carpenter spotted a group of tiny oysters, all snug in their little beds._

 _The Carpenter's eyes widened; a batch of oysters was sure to make a very fine meal! Whistling eagerly to the Walrus, who eagerly hurried to the shoreline. But as the Carpenter was about to swing his wooden hammer, it was only a matter of time before the Walrus smashed him with the hammer, knocking him unconscious._

 _Plunging underwater, the Walrus turned to face the tiny oysters in their beds. "Ooh, um, oysters," he began to say, "Come and walk with us!_

 _The day is warm and bright!_

 _A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk_

 _Would be a sheer delight!"_

 _"Yes, and should we get hungry along the way," the Carpenter chimed in, "we'll stop and, uh...have a bite?" At that moment, the Walrus paused to give the Carpenter a conk on the head with his cane._

 _The Thompsons continued, "But Mother Oyster winked her eye_

 _And shook her heavy head_

 _She knew too well_

 _This was no time_

 _To leave her oyster bed..._

 _"The sea is nice, take my advice, and stay right here," Mother said._

 _"Yes yes, of course, of course!" the Walrus said, right before snapping Mother Oyster's shell tight. "But em...haha! The time has come, my little friends_

 _To talk of other things_

 _Of shoes and ships and sealing wax_

 _Of cabbages and kings!_

 _And why the sea is boiling hot_

 _And whether pigs have wings," the Walrus said as he stooped down to pinch an oyster's cheek, who giggled in delight,_

 _"Calloo callay!_

 _No work today!_

 _We're cabbages and kings!"_

 _Soon enough, the Walrus took up his cane and began playing it like a flute, whistling a delightful tune as he skipped merrily along. The little oysters, who were beginning to enjoy the occasion, soon sprang from their beds and followed the Walrus as the other sea creatures looked on._

 _Still whistling a merry song, the Walrus then led the oysters out of the ocean as they continued skipping through the sandy beaches. At about that time, the Carpenter was busy gathering up pieces of broken wood and building a tiny ramshackle restaurant, complete with a "Fish Dinner" sign hanging over him. As the restaurant was finally built, the Carpenter then escorted the Walrus and the oysters inside._

 _Inside, the Walrus sat at the head of the table, wrapping a bib around his neck. "Hmmm, well now," he muttered, "um, let me see...Ah yes! A loaf of bread is what we need!" The Carpenter then heard him and swiftly made his way toward the kitchen._

 _While the Carpenter was gone, The Walrus gathered up a few oysters in his hands, and before he could lay his hands on them, the Carpenter poked his head out of the kitchen, asking, "So how 'bout some pepper, salt, and vinegar, aye?"_

 _"Hmm?! Oh yes, yes, splendid idea!" the Walrus said, briefly dropping the oysters and picking up the menu. As the Carpenter headed back to the kitchen, the Walrus stared at the oysters rather intimidatingly. "Now, if you're ready, oyster dears," the Walrus told them, "hehe...we can begin the feed."_

 _The oysters then gazed at the back of the menu, which read "Today's special: Oyster." "Feed?" the oysters all said in unison. "Oh yes, haha," the Walrus said abruptly as he scooped up all the oysters in his arms. "Ah, the time has come, my little friends, to talk of food and things!"_

 _Back in the kitchen, the Carpenter was busy preparing the appetizer, merrily singing, "Of peppercorns and mustard seeds_

 _And other seasonings_

 _We'll mix 'em all together_

 _In a sauce as good for kings_

 _Calloo callay_

 _We'll live today,_

 _Like cabbages and kings!"_

 _Whistling joyfully, the Carpenter went back to the dining room, with a platter of sliced bread and a bowl of sauce to compliment the meal. He then set the items in front of the Walrus, who was feigning a bit of sorrow._

 _"Ooh, I uh, weep for you, I-hip!-Oh, excuse me," the Walrus muttered, letting out a hiccup, "I deeply sympathize. For I've enjoyed your company, oh, much more than you realize."_

 _The Carpenter then sat down, grabbing a fork and knife, ready to feast. "Little oysters," he called out. "Little oysters!"_

 _The Thompsons then recited, "But answer there came none. And this was scarcely odd, because...they'd been eaten. Every one!"_

 _The Carpenter then peered over, only to find a cluster of empty oyster shells! "Hmm, well, uhh, ha ha," the Walrus muttered, slowly making for the exit. By then, a now hotheaded Carpenter stood on the table, wielding a wooden sledgehammer._

 _The Walrus then decided to make a break for it. "Ooh, hrmm, uh, the time has come!" he exclaimed, brusting through the doors and running away before the Carpenter could catch him._

 _The Thompsons both smiled, and chanted:_

 _"WE'RE CABBAGES AND KINGS!"_

...

"The End!" the Thompsons both said as they fluttered down gracefully. Tintin could only sigh in sympathy. "Well, that was a very sad story," he said.

"Precisely, and there's a moral to it," Thomson said. "Ah yes," Tintin said, smiling a little, "and a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster." He then got up. "Well, it's been a nice visit..." Tintin said as he proceeded to leave, but Thompson cut him short.

"Another recitation!" Thompson said. "B-But I have to..." Tintin tried to say. "It's titled 'Father William!'" Thomson exclaimed. "Really! I..." Tintin tried to leave.

"First verse!" Thompson cried out as Thomson pretended to be a crooked old man:

" _You are old Father William," the young man said,_

 _"And your hair has become very gray_

 _And yet you incessantly stand on your head_

 _Do you think at your age it is good,_

 _Is good, do you think at your age it is good?"_

 _"Well, in me youth," Father William replied to his son,_

 _"I'd do it again,_

 _And again and again_

 _And I'd done it again_

 _And again and again..."_

But by the time the Thompsons were about to move on to the second verse, Tintin had already slipped away. He was still on the trail for Professor Calculus.


	4. Big Problems

After managing to escape the Thompsons and slipping away, Tintin wandered off deeper into the woods. After much exploration, Tintin came across a quaint little house surrounded by a wooden pink fence decorated with hearts. It was a rather lovely house, to begin with.

"Hmm, what a lovely house," Tintin said, staring in awe at the house. "Now I wonder who lives here..." As he made his way toward the gate, he heard a faint voice crying out, "Mary Ann! Oh, that girl...Where did she put them?" The upstairs window opened, revealing Professor Calculus shouting, "Mary Ann!"

"The Professor!" Tintin exclaimed. He then pushed the gate open, going inside. "Mary Ann!" Professor Calculus excaimed, hurrying downstairs, towards the door. "Oh, no use! I cannot wait! I am very late. Oh me, oh my, oh me, oh my..." He then passed Tintin, who tried to stop him. "Hey, excuse me!" Tintin said. "Um, I-I was trying to..."

Professor Calculus stopped short and spotted Tintin. "Mary Ann!" he said. "And what are you doing out here?" "Mary Ann?" Tintin asked, dumbfounded. "Now, don't do something! Just stand there-no no!" Professor Calculus said. "Please go! Go get my gloves, please. I am late!" "But late for what?" Tintin asked. "That's what I've been..."

"My gloves!" Professor Calculus said, blowing his horn. "At once!" Finding his way inside, Tintin sighed. "Huh," he muttered. "Now I wonder if I'll soon be taking orders from Snowy next..."

Climbing upstairs to the bedroom, Tintin looked all around. "Hmmm, if I were a white rabbit," he mumbled, "where would I keep my gloves?" He then paused to find a tray of cookies on top of the dresser. "Huh," Tintin said as he grabbed a cookie. "Don't mind if I do. To be honest, I really am starving a little."

While chewing on the cookie, Tintin then knelt down by the costume chest and rummaged through the chest, humming a little tune. Tintin then got a funny feeling, as if the chest was growing smaller. Or maybe... he was getting bigger!

"Oof!" Tintin cried out as he hit his head on a wooden beam overhead. He suddenly realized what was happening...he had accidentally eaten one of those cookies that causes him to grow giant! "Oh no no, not again!" Tintin said in despair.

Outside, the Professor was impatiently tapping his foot. He was beginning to grow desparate. "Ooh! Now what's got into that girl Mary Ann?" he asked, marching toward the house.

By then, Tintin was already increasing in size, his arms and legs ready to burst out. As Professor Calculus marched upstairs, he opened the bedroom door to find Tintin's now large foot blocking the doorway. "Now you see here, Mary Ann-HEEEEEELLP!" the Professor cried out in fear. Soon, he found himself being pushed out the front door, his horn blaring away as he blew hard on it.

After being pushed out of the house, the Professor cried out in fright. Tintin had grown so big that his own arms and legs burst out from both sides of the house. "Nooo! No!" Professor Calculus exclaimed. "Help! Monster! Help!"

"Uuuuggh! Eerrrgh! Ennh!" Tintin grunted as he tried to move his arms around. Soon, he opened the window to find that he had practically crushed most of the house. "Oh dear," he mumbled.

"Monster! A monster!" Professor Calculus kept crying out. "Mr. Dodo! A monster, in my house!" "Dodo...?" Tintin wondered aloud. "Ooh, my poor little house..." the Professor sulked. By then, the dodo that looked like Captain Haddock suddenly reappeared. He noticed the Professor sulking. "Oh, steady old chap!" the Dodo reassured him. "Can't be all that bad, ya know." "Oh, my poor roof, the rafters, all my walls, and...Ooh! There it is!" the Professor fainted as he saw a balcony flowerbed collapse.

"Blisterin' Barnacles! Jolly well?" the Dodo said. "Isn't it?" "Do something, Dodo!" Professor Calculus exclaimed. "Aye, indeed!" the Dodo said. "An extraordinary situation! But..." "B-But what?" the Professor asked. "I have a very simple solution!" the Dodo announced. "Oh, thank goodness!" Tintin whispered underneath his breath.

"Oh! W-What is it?" the Professor asked. "Why, we simply pull it out of the chimney!" the Dodo proclaimed. "Yes, yes! G-G-Go ahead then!" the Professor said. "Go pull it out!"

"What, me?" the Dodo asked, laughing. "Don't be ridiculous! What we really need is..." He then noticed a lanky lizard carrying a ladder. "Aha! A lizard with a ladder!" the Dodo exclaimed.

"Hmm? Oh! Bill! Bill!" Professor Calculus exclaimed. "Emm, we need a lidder with a lazzer, no no, a lizard with a...uhh...eh...won't you help us?" "At your service, governor!" the lizard replied. "Here, my lad!" the Dodo said, bringing Bill aside. "Ever been down a chimney?" "Ah, I've been down more chimneys than..." "Excellent!" the Dodo said, plopping the ladder to the side. "Now you just pop down that there chimney, and haul that monster out o' there."

Climbing the ladder to the chimney, Bill exclaimed, "Righto, governor!" he said as he prepared to descend down the chimney. But as he was about to drop down, he noticed Tintin's rather large head inside, staring back at him. "Monster?!" Bill cried out. "Aaaaaaaaiiiiieee! Nooo! No!

At that moment, he was about to scramble down the ladder, only to be stopped by the Dodo. "That's better, Bill, my boy!" the Dodo said, pushing the frightened lizard back up the ladder. "You're passin' up a golden opportunity!" "I am?" Bill asked.

"You could be famous!" the Dodo said. "I would?" Bill asked again. "Of course! There's a brave man! In you go now," the Dodo said, pushing Bill toward the chimney. "Nothin' to it, lad! Simply tie your tail round that monster's neck and drag it out!"

"B-B-But governor! I...!" Bill started to say, but the Dodo cut him off, saying, "Good luck now, Bill!" He then pushed the lizard into the chimney. Bill slowly slid down the chimney, using his hands to cling to both sides of the chimney.

By then, small particles of ash and soot crumbled from the chimney walls and fell onto Tintin's nose in a light dust. "Aaah...ah...agh, ehh...ahh..." Tintin breathed heavily, the ashes tickling his nose. Bill looked down and gasped with fright. "O-Oh, oh dear!" he whispered. At that moment, Tintin could not hold it in much longer.

"ACHOOO!"

Suddenly, with great force, Tintin let out a loud sneeze, shooting Bill out of the chimney and upward to the sky. "Well, there goes Bill," the Dodo said in dismay as he watched the poor lizard disappear out of sight. "Oog..." Tintin said, sniffing a bit. "Poor Bill..."

"Hmmm...perhaps we should attempt a more energetic type of remedy," the Dodo pondered. "Yes, anything!" Professor Calculus said. "Try anything. But hurry, please!" "Well, I propose tht we, emmm..." the Dodo thought aloud. "Yes, yes, come on now...!" the Professor clamored. "Hmm, I propose that we...Ooh! By Jove! That's it!" the Dodo exclaimed.

"What is it?" the Professor asked. "It's simple! We burn the whole house down!" the Dodo proclaimed. "Yes, hehe! Burn the house-Wait, what?!" Professor Calculus exclaimed. "Oh no!" Tintin gasped.

But by that time, the Dodo was already gathering up wood to start a fire. "Hi ho! Oh, we'll go smoke the blighter out!" the Dodo chanted.

"He'll put the beast to rout!

Some kindling

A stick or two

All this bit of rubbish oughta do!"

The Dodo was then piling up large stacks of wood around the house to create a kickstart. All Professor Calculus could do was watch with worry. "Oh dear..." he muttered worryingly.

"Oh, we'll roast the blighter's toes, we'll toast the bounder's nose!" the Dodo sang, plopping another batch of wood near Tintin's left leg. "Go fetch the gate, sir! We'll make it clear that no monsters are welcome here!" "Oh me, oh my, oh me, oh my..." the Professor worried.

"Aha, a match!" the Dodo exclaimed. "Match?" the Professor questioned as he pulled out a small match and handed it to the Dodo. He still tried hard to tell him not to burn the house. But the Dodo did not listen. Instead, he then stooped down to ignite a small flame on the firewood.

"Thank you!" the Dodo told the Professor. He then lit a small block of wood until a small flame emerged. "We'll blow the thing there out, we'll smoke the monster out!" "We'll smoke the monster out...No ho! No!" Professor Calculus started to sing, but quickly paused to find that his house was being burned! "No! No!" he exclaimed. "My poor house and furniture..."

Tintin found himself in quite a difficult situation. "Great snakes, this is a real problem!" he muttered. "Now, I really must think of something..." He surveyed the area, until his eyes came to rest upon a small vegetable garden. His eyes lit up. "Aha! A garden!" Tintin said. "Maybe if I just eat something, then maybe I'll grow smaller..." Raising his left arm, Tintin then reached for the garden. "Oh! No!" the Professor exclaimed, latching onto a single carrot as it was being lifted up into Tintin's free hand.

"Aaaaaaah! No, no! Let go!" the Professor shrieked. "Heeeelllpp!" "Professor, I'm sorry, but I really must eat something!" Tintin said. "No, not me, you...you...you...you animal!" the Professor exclaimed, flailing his arms in defense. "Help! Monsters!" At that moment, Tintin ultimately thrust his face forward and chomped on a piece of the carrot. It seemed as if Tintin's prediction was correct, for he immediately shrunk down to tiny size once more.

"Help! Ooh! I'm late!" Professor Calculus exclaimed, landing on his feet and running around in circles. "Oh dear, I'm still here! I should be over there! Oh, I'm late!"

"I say, do you have a match?" the Dodo asked. "No, must go! Hello, goodbye!" the Professor said, quickly running away. "Oh, I'm lte, I'm late, I'm late!" "Wait! Wait, Professor!" Tintin, who was now tiny, exclaimed as he took off after him.

"Ah, young man!" the Dodo called to Tintin. "Do you have a match?" "No, I'm sorry but...Hey! Professor!" Tintin said as he took off toward the grassy turfs ahead of him.

"No cooperation?" the Dodo scoffed. "No cooperation at all? Well, we can't have monsters about! Jolly will have to carry on myself. Pf, pf, pf..." The Dodo then sighed and continued with starting the fire, all alone.


	5. A Garden in the Golden Afternoon

Tintin then ventured farther into the grass, trying to pursue the Professor, who took off in such a mad dash. Tintin's curiosity seemed to increase more as he wandered deep into this crazy realm. While heading deeper into the gardens, Tintin almost seemed to lose his breath.

"Professor!" Tintin said, panting. "Professor Calculus, plase wait! Wait for me!" He then found himself slowing down with each new step he took. "Great snakes," he mumbled as he walked over a small pebble. "I don't think I'll ever catch the Professor when I'm this tiny."

As Tintin explored the gardens, he found a cluster of butterflies floating above his head. Tintin then rubbed his eyes, and saw that these butterflies all had slices of bread for wings, with butter lathered onto them. Soon, the butterflies then flitted down to rest on a leaf. They landed in a most unusual way; they perched themselves on top of the leaf, stacking themselves into a loaf of bread. "Wow, what strange little butterflies!" Tintin wondered aloud.

"You mean, 'bread-and-butterflies.'"

"Oh, yes! That's exactly what I...huh?" Tintin turned and looked all around. He could've sworn he had heard a voice talking to him. Instead, he shrugged and continued exploring. "Hmmm, now I wonder what..." Tintin then paused to find a tiny rocking horse with wings flying around. "Oh, it's a horsefly!" Tintin said. "No no, wait. It's a...a...aha! A rocking horsefly!"

"Naturally!"

"Hmm?" Tintin asked. He heard the voice again! "Oh, well...I do beg your pardon, but uh...did you...?" Tintin then noticed a rose standing before him. "No, that's just silly," Tintin said. "Flowers don't talk." The rose then turned around to reveal...Hanna! "Hanna? Is that you?" Tintin exclaimed as he saw the rose's face.

"Who?" the Rose asked Tintin. "Of course we can talk, my dear boy." "If there is just anyone worth talking about!" a rather pompous-looking snapdragon said. "Or about! Hahahaha!" a marguerite giggled, laughing heartily.

"And we sing too!" Tintin turned around to find a batch of multicolored violets. They looked oddly enough like Treasure, Jenny, Linda, Marie, and Alyssa. "Oh, you do?" Tintin asked, smiling.

"Oh yes, we do!" two red and blue tulips both said in unison. "Would you like to hear us sing 'Tell it to the Tulips?'" "No, no, no," a larkspur spat. "Let's sing about us!" Soon, the flowers were all clashing over whose song they should sing to Tintin.

"Well, we know a song about the shy little violets," one of the violets said. "No, not that old thing!" one lily, who looked like Anna, had said. "I say we do "Lovely Lily of the Valley!'" another lily, who looked like Honoka, said. "Or how about the daisies in the...?" a group of daisies started to say, but were briefly interrupted by a lilac exclaiming, "Oh, no, the boy wouldn't like that!"

"Ladies, ladies!" the rose, who was Hanna, exclaimed, trying to calm the flowers. "You all settle down now. Now, we shall sing 'Golden Afternoon'. That's about all of us." She then raised her baton. "Sound your A, Lily!" she ordered.

"Laaaaaaa..." the lily began singing. "Mimimimimi..." the marguerite sang. "Lalalalalalala..." the daisies recited. "Lahahahahahahahaha..." the snapdragon recited. Then, a bunch of scarlet red and gold marigolds, who looked oddly enough like lions, began chanting, " _Pom pom pom, pom pom pom, pom pom..._ " Soon enough, the flowers all began to sing:

" _Little bread-and-butterflies_

 _Kiss the tulips_

 _And the sun is like_

 _A toy balloon_

 _There are rise up in the morning_

 _Glories_

 _In the golden_

 _Afternoon._ "

Meanwhile, Tintin had seated himself on a leaf and listened, smiling as he heard the beautiful flowers sing:

" _There are dizzy daffodils_

 _On the hillside_

 _Strings of violets are_

 _All in tune_

 _Tiger lilies love the dandy lions_

 _In the golden_

 _Afternoon._

 _There are dog and caterpillars_

 _And a copper centipede_

 _Where the lazy daisies love_

 _The very peaceful life_

 _They live..._ "

As he was watching the performance, Tintin suddenly felt himself getting a bit dazed and sleepy. But he stayed awake, just in time to hear a beautiful white rose belt out:

" _You can learn a lot of things_

 _From the flowers_

 _For especially in_

 _The month of June_

 _There's a welth of happiness_

 _And romance_

 _In the golden_

 _Afternoon..._ "

" _Afternoon_..." the cluster of flowers all chorused together as they chanted the last note. Soon enough, a swarm of the bread-and-butterflies all fluttered around Tintin and rose him from his seat, pulling him toward the violets. The flowers then began gesturing toward Tintin, beckoning him to join. As anticipated, Tintin cleared his throat, breathed deeply, and started singing:

" _You can learn a lot of things_

 _From the flowers_

 _For especially in_

 _The month of June_

 _There's a wealth of happiness_

 _And romance_

 _All-_ ack!"

Before he could sing the last few lyrics, Tintin's voice cracked. Putting his hands to his mouth, Tintin blushed red all over as the flowers belted out the last lyric:

" _The golden afternoon!_ "

Following the last line, the marigolds and the daffodils all banged on grass drums and flower-shaped cymbals, joining in an epic fanfare to compliment the ending of the song. The flowers then applauded simultaneously in a joyous spring.

"My, that was a beautiful song," Tintin said, feeling happier already. "Why thank you, my dear," the Rose told Tintin, thanking him warmly. The marguerite then edged closer to Tintin and studied him carefully, watching his body up close.

"And what kind of garden do you come from?" the Marguerite asked Tintin. "Hmm?" Tintin asked. "Well, I don't really come from any kind of garden, really..." "Oh!" the Marguerite said. Leaning over to the Daffodils, whispering, "You don't suppose he's a wild flower, is he?" "Oh no, I'm not a wild flower," Tintin said, chuckling.

"Very well, then," the Rose told Tintin. "Now tell me; just what species, or should we say, 'genus', are you, my boy?" "Ah," Tintin said. "I guess you could call me a genus, humanus, um...Tintin!"

The flowers looked on with confusion. "You ever seen a Tintin with a blossom like that?" the Marguerite asked. "Come to think of it, have you ever seen a Tintin?" the Snapdragon questioned. "Aye, and do you notice his petals?" the Marguerite asked, admiring and prodding Tintin's hair. "What an odd color!"

The Snapdragon then took a big whiff of Tintin's shoulder and sighed. "Ah, and no fragrance!" she proclaimed. "Ah ha ha! And just look at those stems!" the Marguerite laughed, pointing toward Tintin's legs.

"Rather scrawny, if I do say so myself," the Snapdragon muttered. "Well I think he's pretty," a baby rose bud next to the Rose said. "Hush now, bud," the Rose told her.

"But I'm not a flower!" Tintin exclaimed. The Snapdragon shook her head in disgust. "Aha! Just as I suspected!" she scoffed. "He's nothing more than a common mobile vulgaris!" "Oh dear..." The flowers all murmured, worried. "A what?" Tintin asked. The Snapdragon leaned in on Tintin and proclaimed, "To put it more bluntly...a weed!"

"Hey! I'm not a weed!" Tintin said, becoming angry. "Well! You wouldn't expect him to admit to it," a tulip said. "Would you imagine!" the Lilac said. "Oh, goodness me!" the Marguerite exclaimed, lifting up her leafy skirt as if she had seen a mouse.

Tintin tried to go, but the flowers all kept prodding and pushing him. "Well don't just let him stay and go to seed!" the Lily clamored, trying to drive Tintin out of the garden. "Go on now, boy! Be gone!" one of the flowers told Tintin, pushing him away. "Ladies, please..." the Rose said, trying to ease the tension. Tintin then accidentally fell into the violets, who pushed him back, saying, "We don't want weeds in our bed!"

Feeling angry and upset, Tintin then stormed off from the garden. Turning back, he shouted, "Fine then, if that's how you all feel about that! Well, if I were my normal size, I could pick just about each and every one of you! Then I'll see how you like it!" Tintin then walked away, exclaiming, "I guess that will teach you!"

By the time he was finishing his rant, a pair of tulips took up a leaf bucket of water, and they dumped the water on Tintin, sending him down the trail in a muddy, wet mess. Tintin could hear the tulips laughing behind his back.

"Hmmph! You can learn a lot of things from the flowers, my right!" Tintin muttered angrily. "Then maybe they oughta learn a few things about manners!" He then took off and ventured toward the other side of the garden.


	6. How to Keep Your Temper

Walking deeper into the grass, Tintin paced around, breathing short breaths. He was still heated over that little spat he had with the flowers when they had called him a weed. Surely enough, that garden was no place for Tintin. After kicking a few stones around in the dirt, Tintin finally felt relieved. It did a number of good to let out one's frustration.

While exploring the rest of the garden, Tintin then noticed a cluster of large, colorful smoke rings hovering above him. They began to twist and morph into shapes and letters of every kind. And from nearby, Tintin could hear the sound of a man slowly chanting, " _A, e, i, o, u, a, e, i, o..._ "

"Hmm," Tintin mumbled, parting through the grass stalks. "I wonder where that's coming from." He then made his way through the grass to find the source of the noise. He then parted the grass stalks to find...Rastapopoulos?!

Or at least it looked like Rastapopoulos, for it appeared to be a large, purplish-blue caterpillar that bore his face. The caterpillar was reclining himself on a rather large mushroom pod, looking completely relaxed and collected. He was smoking out of a large, gold hookah, puffing out colorful smoke rings.

" _A, e, i, o, u,_ " he was chanting, " _A, e, i, o, u. O, u, e, i, a. U, a, e, i, o, u. u..._ " "Rastapopoulous?!" Tintin blurted out, getting an eyeful of the creature that stood before him. Edging closer to Tintin, the Caterpillar studied him carefully and demanded, "Who are you?"

"Agh, I should've known this was just another one of your tricks, Rastapopoulos," Tintin said angrily. "Well, I'm not falling for it again!" "What?" the Caterpillar asked, as if he did not recognize Tintin. "I do not see. Explain yourself."

"Huh?" Tintin asked. "Well, I don't know how to explain myself, you see. I-I'm not really myself lately." "I do not know," the Caterpillar muttered nonchalantly. "B-But I can't put it any other way clearly, because it's not clear to me!" Tintin exclaimed. "You?" the Caterpillar asked, taking another puff of smoke. He then huffed, "Who...are...you?"

The smoke then blew onto Tintin's face. "Then maybe you must tell me-cough! cough!-who you are first-cough!" Tintin asked, wheezing from the smoke that out into his face. He waved his hand around, trying to clear the smoke. "Why?" the Caterpillar asked. "Oh...great snakes. Everything is just so baffling to me," Tintin mumbled, hanging his head.

"It is not," the Caterpillar retorted. "It is to me," Tintin said to him. "Why?" the Caterpillar asked. "You see, I don't exactly remember things the way I did, and I..." Tintin started to say, but the Caterpillar cut him off, exclaiming, "Recite!"

"Hmm? Oh! Em...yes, sir," Tintin said, straightening up. Clearing his throat, Tintin spoke, "How does the little busy bee improve each shi..." "Stop!" The Caterpillar demanded, waving his hand in the air. "That is not spoken correcitically," he said, drawing himself up to his full height. "It goes like this..." He then drew in a deep breath, reciting, "How..." He felt his tail twisting, so he immediately untwisted himself.

Tintin felt a laugh coming on. "Hmmph!" the Caterpillar said, giving a little huff. He then puffed a few pink tufts of smoke, which then formed a crocodile. "How does the little crocodile improve his shiny tail. And pour the waters of the Nile," he recited as the smoke rings formed wavy lines, like a river, "on every golden scale. How cheer...how cheer..."

The Caterpillar paused, for he noticed that he was stepping on his pipe, blocking the smoke. Releasing his step, the smoke blew forcefully on him.

Tintin almost giggled. "Ahem!"the Caterpillar retorted, and Tintin fell silent. "How cheerfully he seems to grin," the Caterpillar recited as the smoke rings formed a set of jaws, "How neatly he spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws." The little tufts of smoke that formed into fish then swam into the crocodile's mouth, with its jaws snapping shut.

Tintin was impressed. "Wow, I never thought of reciting it that way before," he said, amazed. "I know. I have improved it," the Caterpillar told him. He then drew in a breath from his hookah, and puffed out several more smoke rings. "Well I-cough! cough!-if you ask me," Tintin managed to say, "I, um..."

"You?" the Caterpillar retorted. "Hmmph! Who...are...you?" In blurting out those words, more smoke rings began floating onto Tintin's face. After inhaling the smoke, Tintin began to cough even more from the smoke tht went into his nose. "Achoo!" he sneezed, after the smoke managed to tickle his nose. Feeling suddenly angry, Tintin looked at the Caterpillar. Ugh! Well, I never!" he exclaimed. He then stormed off in a huff.

The Caterpillar seemed desparate. "You there!" he called after Tintin. "Boy! Come back! I do have something important to say!" "Now what does he want?" Tintin muttered angrily. Turning around, he returned to face the Caterpillar. "Well?" he asked impatiently.

"Keep your temper," the Caterpillar reminded Tintin. "That's it?" Tintin blurted out. "No," the Caterpillar answered. "Exacitically, what seems to be your problem?" "Well," Tintin said, feeling much more calm, "for me, it's exaciti...exaciti...Never mind that. Precisely, I ask to be a little bigger, sir."

"And why is that?" the Caterpillar asked. "Well, you see, being three inches high is such a terrible height for me, and I..." Tintin started to say.

The Caterpillar was infuriated. "Excuse me, young man!" he exclaimed, drawing himself to his full height. "I am exacitically three inches high, and that height is good enough for me!"

"Well, I'm not used to being three inches high!" Tintin shouted. "And you don't have to shout-Oh!" Tintin then fell back atop the mushroom pod, after the Caterpillar then formed a chrysalis and exploded right in front of him, leaving behind only his hookah and pointed shoes.

"What in the...?" Tintin muttered, trying to find the Caterpillar. "And by the way...!" a voice cried out from overhead. "Huh?" Tintin asked, whirling around. He then peered up to find that the Caterpillar had turned into a butterfly. "By the way, I have a few more helpful hints for you!" the Caterpillar exclaimed. "Huh?" Tintin shouted.

"One side will make you grow taller," the Caterpillar shouted to Tintin. "What one side?" Tintin asked. "And the other side will make you grow shorter," the Caterpillar exclaimed, hovering above Tintin's head. "But the other side of what?" Tintin asked.

"THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!" the Caterpillar thundered, closing in on Tintin as he said it. Then, the Caterpillar then took off, flying away in a heated huff.

...

Looking around, Tintin then noticed the mushroom he was sitting on. He then pulled off two pieces of the mushroom, both from each opposite side that they faced. They looked exactly alike.

"Hmm, let's see," Tintin mumbled, eyeing the two pieces before him. "One side of the mushroom will make me grow, and the other will make me small. But how do I know which one is the right one?" He started to doubt his senses, putting the mushroom pieces aside. "Well, after all that had happened, I wonder...Maybe I..."

Tintin was adamant. "You know what? I do not care," he said firmly. He then took a big bite of the mushroom on his left hand. After chewing the piece, Tintin swallowed the piece. "There," he told himself, standing up. "You know, I really am sick of being just a mere three inches high-Yi! Yi! Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi!"

Suddenly, Tintin felt himself rapidly growing taller and taller. Soon, it was not long before Tintin had grown into a giant, towering over the trees and rocks, which looked nothing more like twigs and pebbles from Tintin's view.

Atop Tintin's head sat a bird nest full of eggs. An angry-looking mother bird surveyed her surroundings, mad that some unknown force that destroyed her home. She then peered down, staring at Tintin's legs, which looked oddly long.

"Huh! A serpent!" the mother bird exclaimed. She then began to panic. "HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPP!" she screamed, flitting around in a frightened state. "Serpent! Serpent!" "Oh! Please! Please! Don't do that!" Tintin said, trying to calm the bird.

"Be gone! Off with you!" the mother bird exclaimed, trying to shoo off Tintin. "Shoo, shoo, shoo! Go away! Serpent! Serpeeeeent!" "Lady, please! I'm not a serpent!" Tintin shouted. "Oh, is that so?" the mother bird asked with disgust. "Then, just what are you?" "I'm just a young man!" Tintin answered.

"Young?! Ha, young?" the mother bird scoffed, laughing. "Ahahahaha!" "But I am!" Tintin exclaimed, feeling desparate. " Well I-I mean, I was, what with my original height, and..." "Hmmph!" the mother bird scoffed, perching herself on Tintin's nose. "And I suppose you don't eat eggs, do you?" she retorted.

"Um, yes. I do, but I..." Tintin started to say. "Aha! I knew it!" the mother bird proclaimed. "Wait! I don't mean it like...!" Tintin said. "I knew it!" the bird shouted. "Serpent! Serpeeeent!"

"Oh, for the love of-Oh, great snakes, this isn't going to work," Tintin said, exasperated. He couldn't seem to get the bird to comply with him. But then he remembered the Caterpillar's advice about the mushroom. "Now I get it!" Tintin muttered. "That means the other side will make me smaller!" He then began to lift his right hand up, which contained the other mushroom.

By that time, the now angered mother bird was busy gathering up her eggs in a huff. "Oh! The very nerve!" she began to complain. "I spend all my time layin' eggs for serpents like him! The very idea of-Aaaaaaahhh! Oh, oh, oh!"

At that moment, Tintin munched on the other half of the mushroom, and with that, he immediately shrunk down back to tiny size. The mother bird, in turn, found herself, and her nest, landing back on a flimsy little tree branch.


	7. Where to Go, Which Direction?

After that chaotic mess, Tintin shrunk back to his tiny size as he had collapsed in a pile of leaves. At least the mushroom helped him shrink back down to a diminutive height. It was good that he managed to get tiny again so he wouldn't have to bother any other creature ever again. But Tintin was still not happy. He found it upsetting that he had gotten tiny again.

Once he popped up from the leaves, Tintin found himself back to miniature size. "Oh crumbs," he mumbled, struggling to stand up. "Now I wonder if I'll ever get the hang of this." He brushed a bit of dust off his trousers as he stood up.

With that, Tintin held his hand high to try and figure out how he could grow back to his normal size. Looking at the mushroom in his hand and back to his arm, Tintin wondered. If he bit that thing again, he'd grow to gigantic size again. There was no way he'd be doing that ever again. Then, Tintin had an idea.

Sticking out his tongue, Tintin licked the mushroom on his left hand. Suddenly, he grew back to his normal height. "Ah, now that feels better," Tintin told himself, finally relieved. Eyeing the two mushroom pieces in his hands, his eyes lit up. "I have to save these," he muttered, putting the pieces in both sides of his pocket. With that, Tintin continued his trek into the woods.

...

While exploring the woods, Tintin then came across a cluster of trees, all decorated with signs pointing to either direction. Up, down, left, right; anywhere the signs pointed, that was the direction. "Huh, now where was I?" Tintin wondered aloud. He looked at the different signs, trying to interpret which way. "Now which direction do I take?" he asked himself.

" _Oh, 'twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble about in the wabe. All mimsy are the borogroves, and the momeraths wil outgrabe..._ "

At that moment, Tintin whirled around. He swore he could've heard a voice singing that mysterious and wildly out of tune poem. But there was no one around. Who could've said that?

"Huh," Tintin began to ponder. "Now I wonder where in the world that could've come from...?" "Did you lose something?" Tintin turned around, trying to find the source of the dialogue. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "Hehe, I-I was just...no, no, no. I-I, um...I was just, em...wondering if..." He then looked up to find a toothy grin staring back at him.

"Oh, that's quite all right," the strangely female voice answered. "Oh, errm...one second please. Ah! Second chorus, that's right." She then began to sing, " _'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, ever did gyre and gimble about in the wabe..._ "

Soon, out of thin air, a figure appeared. Was that Malina? Tintin did not know if he was hallucinating, because he thought he was looking at Malina, wearing a pink and purple striped jumpsuit, complete with cat ears and a matching tail.

"Malina?" Tintin asked. "You-You're a cat?!" "Who?" the cat person asked. "Why, I'm a Cheshire Cat." She then began to disappear, leaving behind a smile that sang, " _All mimsy are the borogroves..._ "

"No, no! Don't go! Wait!" Tintin pleaded. The Cheshire Cat then reappeared, still smiling. "Very well then. Time for a third chorus!" she said, starting to sing.

"No, no, no, no. No thank you," Tintin said. "I just needed a bit of help from you. You see, I just wanted to know which way to go." "Hmmm, that depends on which way you want to get to, sir," the Cheshire Cat told him. "Ah, well. It doesn't really matter," Tintin said. "I just need to..."

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go, dear," the Cheshire Cat had told Tintin. Then, she began to sing, " _Hmmmm...and the momeraths outgrabe..._ " She then paused. "Oh, and by the way, my boy," she told Tintin, "if you really do want to know, he went that way," she said, pointing the opposite direction.

"Really?" Tintin asked. "Who did?" "The white rabbit, of course," the Cheshire Cat told him. "He did?" Tintin asked.

"Who did what?" the Cheshire Cat asked, curious.

"He went that way?" Tintin asked.

"Who did?" the Cheshire Cat asked again.

"The white-Professor Calculus!" Tintin exclaimed.

"What rabbit?" The Cheshire Cat asked, still clueless.

"But I though you just said...I mean-Oh crumbs!" Tintin said, exasperated. "Can you stand on your head?" the Cheshire Cat asked him. As she said this, her head magically popped off her body as it stood on top of the head. "Oh dear!" Tintin said, surprised.

Reattaching her head onto her body, the Cheshire Cat smiled at Tintin. "You know, dear," she said, "if I were looking for a white rabbit, I would ask the Mad Hatter." "The Mad Hatter?" Tintin asked. "That's what I said," the Cheshire Cat replied. "I would consider asking the Mad Hatter if I were looking for a white rabbit.

"Um...No, no. I don't-I..." Tintin stuttered. "Or...you could ask the March Hare too," the Cheshire Cat reminded him. "And they're right over there, in that direction." She pointed to the right, indicating a purple lit path.

"Ah," Tintin said. "Thank you. I should like to visit this, erm, Mad Hatter." "Aye, of course, she's mad too," the Cheshire Cat had told him. "B-But I don't want to be amongst mad people!" Tintin said, worried. He then continued walking toward the indicated path.

"Oh, you can't help it, don't you?" the Cheshire Cat told Tintin. "We're all a little mad here. Ha ha ha! And you may have noticed...I'm not all there myself." She then began to disappear into thin air, leaving behind only a smile tht sang,

" _And the momeraths outgrabe..._ "


	8. The Mad Tea Party

Once he had taken the advice of the Cheshire Cat, Tintin decided he would go and pay a visit to this stranger, the one that was called the "Mad Hatter". As he continued up the purple path, Tintin came across an intricate gateway surrounded by bushes.

"Oh dear," Tintin said, feeling hesitant as he approached the gate. "I-If those people here are just as mad as the Cheshire Cat said they were, then I must try not to upset them with my presence here. This really is curious!"

...

Tintin then peered inside. And what a surprise he found when he encountered a long picnic table full of teacups and plates, along with rows of chairs, plates, jars, and steam emitting from the tea pots that gave the air a musty glow. But there was no one around. "How curious," Tintin muttered. "But where are...?"

"...aaaaaand, to us!" a voice rang out. "A very know what day today is tea forget of us?"

"I know!" a high, female voice cried out. "Aaaaaaa...very merry unbirthday!"

"A verry merry unbirthday!"

"A very merry unbirthday...TO US!" both voices cried out in unison, collapsing in a hysterical laugh. Then, the male voice began to sing:

" _A very merry unbirthday_

 _To me!"_

"To you?" the female voice asked.

"To me!" the voice answered.

"Oh you!" the female voice exclaimed.

Finally working up the courage, Tintin then made his way inside. From afar, Tintin swore he could've seen his friends Yan and Chang, but dressed differently. Yan wore a brightly colored suit and skirt wit colors that didn't seem to go together, along with a large, bright-green hat. And Chang too wore an odd suit, along with rabbit ears to match. They were banging around big cups of tea. "So they must be the Mad Hatter and March Hare!" Tintin wondered.

" _A very merry unbirthday_ ," Chang sang loudly and rather out of tune. "Who, me?" Yan asked. "Yes, you!" Chang replied. "Oh me!" Yan giggled. "Let's all congratulate us with another cup of tea," Chang started singing, "and a very merry unbirthday to you...!"

The two then noticed Tintin approaching, and quickly rushed toward him in a hurry. "No room, no room, no room, no room, no room, no room!" they both said, pushing Tintin away. "Wait, I thought there was plenty of room!" Tintin said. "Ah, but it's rude to sit down without being invited!" Chang told Tintin.

"I say, very rude!" Yan insisted. "Very, very rude indeed! Haha!" "Very, very rude indeed," a tiny dormouse that looked like Abdullah mumbled sleepily, his head poking out of a sugar jar. "Oh, I apologize," Tintin said. "It's just that...I heard you both singing, and I liked it, so I wanted to see..."

"Oh, you liked our singing?" Chang asked happily. "Ah, delightful boy, ha!" Yan said excitedly. "We've never gotten compliments before! You simply must have a cup of tea!" She then plopped Tintin onto a chair and dutifully poured him a cup of tea.

"Oh yes! The tea, you must have a cup of tea!" Chang said, pouring even more tea into Tintin's cup. "Oh, that's nice, thank you," Tintin said. "Sorry if I interrupted your birthday party, I..." "Birthday? Hahaha!" Chang laughed. "My boy, this isn't a birthday party!"

"It's not?" Tintin asked. "Of course not!" Yan said. "Here, this is an unbirthday party!" "Un-birthday party?" Tintin asked, confused. "I-I don't understand." "It's simple," Chang said. "Now, thirty days have sept-no, wait. When an unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then-hehe..." He then leaned over to Yan.

"He doesn't know what an unbirthday party is!" Chang whispered. "Oh, how silly of me!" Yan said. "Well, my boy, let me explain." Tintin then leaned in intently to listen. "Now, statistics prove," Yan said, "that you have one birthday." "Would you imagine, one birthday a year!" Chang added in. "But," Yan said aloud, "there are three hundred and sixty-four unbirthdays!" "Which is precisely why we're celebrating!" Chang said.

Tintin smiled. "Really?" he asked. "Well...today just so happens to be my unbirthday too!" "It is?" Chang asked. "What a small world this is." "And in that case," Yan said, then she began to sing:

"Aaaaaaaa...very merry unbirthday!"

"To me?" Tintin asked.

"To you!" Yan said, plopping her hat in front of Tintin's hand's and revealing a small, towering pink cake.

"A very merry unbirthday!" Chang was singing.

"To me?" Tintin asked again.

"To you!" Yan and Chang both chanted. "Now blow the candle out, my boy, and make your wish come true! Haha! A very merry unbirthday to you!"

Tintin then blew out the candles. The cake then began shaking in front of Tintin. Soon, it shot into the air like a firecracker as it exploded in the air. Soon, the dormouse that was Abdullah popped out of the cake, his coat hanging on an umbrella, and was floating down, lazily chanting,

"Twinkle twinkle, little bat

How I wonder where you're at

Up above the world you fly

Like a tea-tray in the sky!"

Tintin clapped his hands joyfully. "Wow, that was amazing!" he said. "And, um...now, my dear," Yan said rather calmly, "you said you wanted to sit down, em...You had some information for, um...?" "Oh! Yes!" Tintin said, finally snapping. "Well, you see, I was just looking for a..."

"Clean cup, clean cup!" Yan interrupted, about to pry the cup from Tintin's hands. "Move down!" "But I haven't used my cup yet!" Tintin said. "Oh yes, clean cup! Clean cup! Move down! Move down!" Chang insisted, pushing Tintin's chair down the row. "Would you care for more tea?" Yan asked, pouring more tea into the cup. "Well, I haven't had some yet, but I can't take a lot more than..." Tintin started to say.

"Ah, but you mean you can't take less!" Chang said, stirring in his own cup. "Of course! You can't always take more than nothing!" Yan piped up. "But I just said..." Tintin said, but Yan cut him off, asking, "So...something troubling you, boy?" Yan asked, casually sipping her tea. "Why don't you tell us?"

"Why don't you start at the beginning?" Chang asked. "Okay," Tintin said. "Yes! And when you come to the end, stop! Hehe, see?" Yan asked, running around and pausing to a slight halt. "Well, it started when I sat near the pond with Snowy," Tintin told the two.

"Interesting. Who's Snowy?" Yan asked. "Oh, well, Snowy is my dog," Tintin replied. "You see, I..." "Dog?" Abdullah cried out, frightened. "Hurry! Give him the jam! Put it on his nose!" Chang exclaimed, handing Tintin a jar full of grape jam. Grabbing a butter knife, Tintin slowly smeared jam all over Abdullah's face to calm him. "Where is the dog?" Abdullah said, panicking. "Oh dear! That is what upsets me!" Yan cried out.

"See what trouble you've caused?" Chang asked sternly. "Oh, I didn't think I'd..." Tintin started to say. "That's the point!" Chang told him. "If you don't think, then don't talk!" "Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down! Move down!" Yan said, diving for the chair.

"I haven't used my cup!" Tintin said. "Move down! Move down! Move down!" Yan exclaimed, pushing Tintin's chair all the way down the aisle. "Now," she said calmly, "you were saying?" "Yes, well," Tintin said, "I was sitting near the pond with, um...you know who." "Who?" Yan asked eagerly.

"You know," Tintin whispered to her, "my D...O...G..." "Tea?" Yan asked, misreading the word. "Just half a cup, please!" Chang said, handing over his cup. "Come, my boy! Don't you just care for tea?" Yan asked. "Well yes, I do love tea, but..." Tintin said. "Oh, well if you don't care for tea, then you could at least make a polite conversation!" Chang said to Tintin.

"But I'm trying to ask you that..." Tintin started to say, but Chang butted in, saying, "I know!" Chang cried out. "How about we change the subject?" "Yes!" Yan said. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" "Oh, I enjoy riddles!" Tintin whispered. He then calmed himself, saying, "Hmm, let's see...Why is a raven like a writing desk...?"

"Excuse me?" Yan asked. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Tintin asked again. "Why is a what?" Yan asked. "Watch yourself; he's gone stark raving mad!" Chang whispered to Yan. "But I thought that was your silly riddle!" Tintin said, exasperated. "You just said..." "Very good!" Yan exclaimed. "How about a nice little cup of tea then?" Chang asked, reaching for the tea pot.

"Oh, a nice cup of tea indeed!" Tintin said, starting to get up. "Look, I'm sorry, but I really don't have time for this!" "Ooh, the time! The time!" Chang cried out. "Who has the time?"

At that moment, Tintin saw Professor Calculus burst in through the gates, his watch in hand, and screaming, "Oh dear, no no no no no! No time! Simply no time! I'm late! Hello, goodbye! I'm late, I'm late!" "That's it! There's the professor!" Tintin exclaimed. "Oh dear, I am so very late!" the Professor cried out. Yan plucked the watch out of the Professor's hands and carefully examined it.

"Aha!" Yan said. "It's no wonder you're runnin' late! This clock is..." Yan shook the clock, its gears rattling. "It's exactly two days slow!" she said. "Only two days slow?" the Professor asked anxiously. "Of course you're late," Yan said, slamming the clock on the table. "Let's see, We'll have to look into this." She then took a screwdriver and unscrewed the clock, opening it up. "Aha! Now I see what's wrong with this! It's full of wheels!" she giggled.

"Oh no! Not my good watch!" Professor Calculus exclaimed. "The wheels, the springs...no no no no no!" "We need some butter!" Yan said. "Butter, please! Butter!" "B-B-B-Butter?" the Professor asked. "Thank you!" Yan said after Chang gave her a full butter stick. Taking the butter knife, Yan scooped a whopping load of butter and smeared it all over the clock. "There, that's fine!" Yan said. "No no no, you'll get crumbs on it!" the Professor cried out.

"Ah, this is the best butter!" Yan said, having at it with the sticky butter. "What are we talking about?" "Tea?" Chang asked, thrusting forward the pot. "No no no!" Professor Calculus exclaimed. "Yes, tea!" Yan said, pouring tea on the clock. "No, not the tea!" the Professor cried out.

"More sugar?" Chang asked, grabbing a sugar jar. "Two spoons, please! Two spoons!" Yan said, taking the spoon and spilling sugar on the clock. "Thank you!" "Oh, be careful!" the Professor cried out. "Jam?" Chang asked. "Yes, jam! I almost forgot!" Yan said, pouring jam on the clock. "Not the jam!" the Professor sulked. "Yes you want it, it's nice to see," Yan said.

"Mustard?" Chang asked. "Mustard?" Yan asked, preparing to smear mustard. "Yes...eh? Mustard?! Don't let's be silly!" Yan then reached for a lemon slice. "Lemons, that's different, it's...yes! There we go! That should do it!" Yan then screwed the clock back on, until it began to rumble and shake.

"Oh dear!" Tintin said. "It's going mad!" Chang exclaimed. "Oh goodness!" Professor Calculus said sadly. "Mad watch! Mad watch!" Chang cried out. "But I thought that was the best butter," Yan said. "Mad watch!" Chang screamed. "Oh, look!" Yan cried out. "I know how to stop it!" Chang said. He then wielded a hammer up in the air and brought it down, smashing the watch into pieces.

"Yep, two days slow," Yan said. "Oh, my poor watch," the Professor said, weeping. "It is?" Yan asked. "And it was even an unbirthday present too," the Professor wept.

"Well, in that case..." Chang said gleefully. He and Yan got together and sang, "Aaaaaaaa...very merry unbirthday to you! To you!" The Professor could not take any more, so he ran out of the garden in a frantic run. "Wait, Professor!" Tintin said, following suit. "Oh, now where did he go?" He then drifted away from the party.

Meanwhile, Yan and Chang still went about their merry way, cheerfully singing, "A very merry unbirthday to us! To us! A very merry unbirthday to us! To us..."


	9. Is There a Way Out?

As Tintin walked farther away from the tea party at the garden, he continued trying to search for the Professor. It seemed as if Tintin was almost ready to lose his mind over a little thing. But he seemed determined to find where it possibly was that the Professor was late for. At the same time, he felt extremely relieved to get away from that mad tea party.

"Oh, of all the ridiculous nonsense that I've forced myself to endure all this time," Tintin grumbled, "that was, by far, the stupidest tea party that I have ever been invited to!" Feeling angry, Tintin tried to find another path that would lead to the outside. "Well, I've just about had it with this nonsense. I don't even care about finding that rabbit of the Professor. I'm just going straight home. Straight home."

Tintin decided he would just forget everything that happened and finally go back home. "That rabbit; who cares if he's late for anything?" he told himself. "If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't even be...Huh? Tulgey Wood? Ummm..."

"Wait...I don't remember this place. How curious," Tintin muttered. "Let me see..." As Tintin was looking at the wooden sign, a bird shaped like round spectacles landed in front of his eyes. "Agh, please!" Tintin cried out, shooing the bird away. "No, no. Please. I don't need any more nonsense!"

Surveying the path before him, Tintin tried to retrace his steps. "So...if I came through this way," he said, "then I should probably go back...this way!" Hurriedly, he tried to cross the pond, unwittingly stepping on a duck, whose bill was shaped like cymbals.

"QUACK!" the duck crowed. "Oh! Oh, sorry!" Tintin exclaimed, retracting his leg. "Quack quack quack!" the duck quacked in protest, waddling away, with his cymbal-shaped beak crashing as it walked.

"Huh. I oughta write a story on this place when I get home," Tintin muttered as he kept on walking. "If I ever get home, that is." As he walked, he noticed the shadowy silhouettes of what looked to be birds. "Ah! Um, excuse me. Excuse me!" Tintin said. "Could you tell me wh-" Suddenly, the two birds, who had pencils for heads, flew from the branches. "Oh! Um okay, hehe, never mind." Tintin laughed nervously.

By then, the sun was beginning to set, causing the forest to look dark and eerie. "Oh, it's getting late. Nothing seems familiar to me now," Tintin said, nearly dodging a stork with a shovel for a beak. "But I should be glad to get out of-aaagh!" Tintin paused in frustration, for he discovered that he came back to the same place where he started. "Ugh, I just wish something would just make sense for a change!" Tintin grumbled.

By then, Tintin came across another wooden sign. "Huh? What's this?" he said, avoiding the three birds that had kettle drums in place of their bellies. "'Don't step on the momeraths'...what?" Tintin read out loud. His hunch was correct when he saw a path light up with purple light. "Aha, a path!" Tintin said, feeling happy.

He eagerly strode down the path, hoping it would lead to a way out. "Thank goodness, I knew a path was bound to turn up!" he said, pride filling his voice. "Gosh, if I hurry back, I may just turn up in time for tea at Marlinspike! Snowy's going to be so happy to see me! I can't wait till I-what?" Tintin's smile immediately faded when he found a green lion swishing his tail around, sweeping away the purple path.

"Oh. That's just great," Tintin mumbled sadly. "Now I...I'll never get out of this place." Tintin looked all around, trying to search for an answer. "Well, w-when one is lost, it's good advice to just...stay where you are...until someone finds you." He then found a flat-surfaced boulder.

"But I...Who would even think to find me here, in this dumb world?" Tintin sulked, seating himself on the boulder. "Good advice. If I had just listened to Heather, I wouldn't even be here," Tintin said, slowly starting to weep. "But that's the problem with me. I give myself some...good advice." Feeling alone and upset, Tintin hung his head, slowly singing:

" _I never follow my advice_

 _That explains the trouble I've been into_

 _Being patient is good advice_

 _But waiting makes me more curious_

 _I'd like a little change,_

 _Should something strange occur_

 _Well...I went my merry way_

 _But I never stop to reason_

 _I could've known_

 _There'd be a price to pay_

 _Some day_

 _I give my self some good advice_

 _But I never follow my advice_

 _Will I ever learn to do_

 _The things that I should?_

 _Will I ever learn..._

 _Learn to do the things I...I should..._ "

Tintin hung his head, disappointed that he'd never make it out of this bizarre realm. Above him, the strange looking animals watched curiously as Tintin began to weep silently. By then, it seemed as if those animals were already edging closer to him.

A green-colored cat strode up to Tintin, who was too busy to notice. The cat sniffed his legs, gradually working its way up the stone. Then, it began to sniff Tintin's elbow. Cocking his head, Tintin noticed all the weird creatures circling him.

"Uh...Ah! No, no! Please!" Tintin cried out in despair. "Just go away! I've had it with this...stupid nonsense!" The animals,frightened by Tintin's sudden outburst, fled away in a panicked dash. Tintin then realized the truth dawning on him; he was beginning to lose his common sense. Burying his head in his arms, Tintin still wept.

Tintin still sobbed so much that he barely missed a familiar voice humming along to a particularly similar tune he had heard before. It was singing, " _Hmm hm hm hm...and the momeraths outgrabe..._ "

It was not long when the Cheshire Cat appeared before Tintin. She took pity on the boy, for she found him sad and lonely. "Boy, what troubles you?" she asked. Tintin turned around and gave a small gasp. "Oh, Cheshire Cat. It's you," Tintin mumbled, drying his tears. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, who did you expect?" the Cheshire Cat asked Tintin. "That white rabbit, perchance?" "The Professor?" Tintin answered. "Well, I...Wait, no. I-I-I'm done looking for rabbits now. I just want to get out of here."

"Oh," the Cheshire Cat sighed with contempt. "B-But, I just can't seem to find another way out of this place without going mad," Tintin told her.

"Naturally," the Cheshire Cat said. "That's because you have no way, sir." "No way?" Tintin asked. "All ways you see here," the Cheshire Cat told him, "are the queen's ways."

"A queen?" Tintin asked, perking up. "But I've never met any queen before." "You haven't?" the Cheshire Cat asked. "YOU HAVEN'T? Oh, but you simply must! She would go mad about you, simply mad!" She then began to disappear into thin air, madly chanting, " _Oh, and the momeraths outgrabe...!_ "

"Wait! Wait a minute! Please!" Tintin exclaimed. "B-But, where do I find this queen?" The Cheshire Cat then reappeared, smiling as she did so. Landing on top of a tree, she grinned at Tintin. "You know, boy, some go this way, some go that way," she said, pointing in different directions. "But for me, personally, I'd go for the shortcut."

With a wave of her hand, the Cheshire Cat opened a small hatched door on the tree where she stood. It opened to reveal a hedged maze, leading to a magnificent red and pink castle, surrounded by hearts.

Tintin's eyes lit up. "Well, it's not my way back home, but I hope this queen will certainly help me!" he said. Striding forward to the door, he took a second to gaze upon the Cheshire Cat. "Thank you, Cheshire Cat!" he said. Then, he disappeared into the tree.


	10. Meet the Queen of Hearts

After getting his hopes up and walking through the door engrained in the tree, Tintin finally came up to a large and spectacular castle. Maneuvering his way though the neatly trimmed labyrinth of hedges, Tintin found some rose bushes clustered with red roses. But there was something odd about the roses. For some reason, there were drops of red paint dripping from the roses.

" _Da dee da da da, doodle de do, dee do dee do, bum bum bum bum..._ "

Tintin then heard some voices humming rhythmically in unison, and he decided to investigate. Walking over to the other direction, Tintin noticed red paint staining the lawns. He noticed some more hastily painted rose bushes. As he got closer to the castle courtyard, Tintin saw a most peculiar sight. The castle guards were all shaped like cards, with their helmets resembling clubs, aces, spades, and diamonds. And they were all chanting:

" _Painting the roses red_

 _We're painting the roses red_

 _We dare not stop_

 _Or waste a drop_

 _So let the paint be spread_

 _We're painting the roses red_

 _We're painting the roses red_

 _Painting the roses red_

 _And many a tear we shed_

 _Because we know_

 _They cease to grow_

 _In fact they'll soon be dead_

 _Nooooo!_

 _And yet we go ahead_

 _Painting the roses red_

 _Red red red red red red red_

 _We're painting the roses red_

 _We're painting the roses red..._ "

" _Oh pardon me but Mister thee_ ,'' Tintin suddenly sang out of sync, " _why do you paint them red_?"

The castle guards suddenly paused, and laid eyes on Tintin. "Hmm? Oh! Oh yes!" one of the guards said. "You see here, boy: we planted the white roses on accident. "And the queen...

 _She likes them red_

 _If she saw_

 _What we said_

 _She'd raise her voice and each of us_

 _Will quickly lose his head!_ "

"Great snakes!" Tintin exclaimed in surprise. The guards nodded their head and sang, " _Since this is the thought we dread, we're painting the roses red!_ " "Gosh, this is serious!" Tintin said. "How about I help you guys out?" He then picked up a paintbrush and got to work, singing, " _Painting the roses red, painting the roses red..._ "

The guards all shrugged and decided to get back to work. Soon enough, Tintin and the castle guards all began painting while singing, " _We're painting the roses red_

 _Don't tell the queen_

 _What you have seen_

 _Or say that's what we said_

 _What, we're painting the roses red..."_

" _Yes, painting the roses red_ ," Tintin chanted. " _Not pink or green,_ " the guards replied. " _Or aquamarine_ ," Tintin sang back. " _We're painting the roses red!_ " they all sang together.

"Guards!" one of the guards exclaimed. "The queen! The queen!" "The queen?" Tintin asked. "The queen!" the guards all cried out, frightened. They all scrambled around in a panicked flight. "Cards! Halt!" a high, female voice cried out in a singsong manner. "Count off!" Immediately, the cards all stopped and stood in a single file line, with Tintin squeezing in between two spades guards.

"One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! Jack!"

Tintin then noticed Professor Calculus hurrying into the courtyard. "The Professor!" he whispered. Struggling to compose himself, the Professor straightened himself, holding his horn. "Her imperial highness, he...her grace, her excellency, her royal majesty, the Queen of Hearts!" he announced. Soon, Tintin noticed a rather pompous queen, but it was...Bianca Castafiore?! She was dressed from head to toe in a lovely, poufed-up dress decorated with hearts, with a heart-shaped crown to match.

"And the king...?" Professor Calculus announced next, until a man dressed in a kingly robe decorated with hearts, who looked very much like Bianca's pianist Igor, came racing out gleefully and shouting, "Hurray!" The Queen immediately strode over to the rosebushes and studied the roses carefully. She then took her finger and stroked one rose, which left a wet, red stain on her finger. Smiling deviously, she surveyed her guards.

"Hmmm...who has been painting my roses red?" she questioned. "Who has been painting my roses red? Who will dare to taint, with vulgar paint, the royal flower bed? For painting all my roses red, someone's going to lose his head!"

"Oh, not me, Your Grace!" a guard with three of hearts said. "Please! It's his fault!" "No, not me!" the guard who bore two of spades exclaimed. "It was the Ace!" "You?" the Queen asked, turning her attention to the Ace. "No! It was Two!" the Ace shouted. "It is the Deuce, you say?" the Queen asked. "I-It wasn't me! It was Three!" the Ace kept saying. "Enough!" the Queen belted out, almost singing as she did. "Off with their heads!"

At that moment, two more castle guards dragged the accused guards away from the courtyard, while the others sang, " _Ohhhhh...they're going to lose the heads_

 _For painting the roses red_

 _It serves them right_

 _They planted white_

 _The roses should be red._

 _Ohhhh...they're going to lose their heads..._ "

But their singing was interrupted after Tintin came forward, shouting, "Wait! Please! They were just trying to..." At that moment, the Queen paused and immediately made her toward Tintin. "And...who is this?" she questioned. One of the guards piped up and said, "Oh, um...w-well, well now, you see...em, he certainly isn't a heart..." He leaned over and asked another guard, "Do you suppose he's a club?"

"Ah, why, it's just a boy," the Queen said, smiling. "Um, yes," Tintin stuttered. "And I was wondering if...if you..." "Look up! Speak nicely! And don't twiddle your fingers!" the Queen ordered. Tintin immediately straightened himself. "Turn out your toes! Now bow!" the Queen demanded as Tinin awkwardly bowed. "Open your mouth a little wider, and always say, 'YES, Your Majesty!'"

Tintin smiled as widely and goofily as possible, and exclaimed, "Y-Y-YES, Your Majesty!" "Very good!" the Queen said, impressed. "Hmm, now, where do you come from? And where are you going?" "Um, well...I was trying to find a way back to my home, and..." "Your way? Ha!" the Queen laughed. "Here, all ways are MY ways!" "I see that," Tintin said, wiping spit from his eye, "but I was just thinking that..." "Curtsey while you think! It saves time," the Queen demanded. "Y-Yes! Of course, Your Majesty!" Tintin said, giving a little curtsey. "But I just needed to ask..."

"I'll ask the questions here!" the Queen said. "Do you play croquet?" "Croquet?" Tintin asked. "Um...I do. Yes, Your Majesty." "Very well, then," the Queen said. "Then let the croquet games...BEGIN!"

...

Minutes later, the King announced, "Places, everyone! In your places! By order of the king! Hurry now! Hurry!" "Shuffle deck! Cards cut!" the Queen ordered as the guards were rushing to their places all at once. "Deal cards!" The guards tried to position themselves on the fields, with a few stumbling out of place. "Cards, halt!" the Queen exclaimed. Only a few guards were heaped up in a pile. "Those of you right there," the Queen said, pointing to one of the guards. "Off with his head!"

"Off with his head, off with his head!" the King exclaimed. "You heard the queen!" Then, two guards dutifully escorted the guard away from the fields. The Queen turned to Tintin. "You're next!" she told him. "Well, I..." Tintin started to say. "My dear," the Queen reminded him. "Oh! Yes, Your Majesty," Tintin quickly said.

The croquet game was quite confusing to start with; Tintin and the Queen were using flamingos and little hedgehogs to play the game. "Now, hmmm..." the Queen muttered, positioning her flamingo. But as soon as she swung, she missed the ball, spinning around in full force.

The guards began to laugh, even causing Tintin to force out a laugh. "Wait, I...hahaha! Just stop!" Tintin managed to say underneath his fit of giggles. The Queen turned to the guards, who all snapped their mouths shut. As Tintin readied himself, his flamingo stood defiantly on his own two feet, rising Tintin up.

The Queen glared at Tintin. "Stop!" Tintin hissed at his flamingo. "You want us to lose both our heads?!" "Hmmph!" the flamingo protested. "Well I don't!" Tintin hissed, swinging his flamingo and hitting the balled up hedgehog, sending it rolling through each hoop. The guards all cheered.

As Tintin prepared for the next swing, he swore he could've heard a faint voice singing, " _La la la da dum da de...la la la la la...hmmm..._ " At that moment, Tintin saw the Cheshire Cat appear on top of the Queen's head! "Oh!" the Cheshire Cat said. "So, how are you getting on wth it?" "Um, not al all, I believe," Tintin said.

"What did you say?" the Cheshire Cat asked. "I said, 'Not at all!'" Tintin exclaimed. But as he said that, the Cheshire Cat had already disappeared. "Who are you talking to?" the Queen demanded. "Oh! I was just talking to a, um...cat, Your Majesty!" Tintin said. "A cat? Where?" the Queen asked. "I see no cat."

At that moment, the Cheshire Cat appeared behind the Queen. "Wait! There she is!" Tintin said, pointing behind the Queen. "She's right-what?" As the Queen turned around, the Cheshire Cat was gone! "I'm warning you, boy," the Queen seethed, "if I lose my temper, you lose your head! Understand?" "O-Of course, Your Majesty!" Tintin said nervously, with a gulp.

"You know, we could make her very angry," a voice said. "Shall we try now?" Tintin turned and gasped. The Cheshire Cat reappeared behind the Queen, ready to tip her over. "No! Don't!" Tintin exclaimed. "Come now, it's lots of fun!" the Cheshire Cat reassured. She then made her move. "Please! No!" Tintin pleaded.

Too late. The Cheshire Cat stuck out her leg, causing the Queen to trip over. "Oooh!" the Queen cried out. "Oh my dear!" the Professor exclaimed. "Oh dear! Save the queen!" the King cried out. The guards began swarming around, trying to break the Queen's fall. But it was no use, for she fell over on her bottom. Her dress then lifted up, revealing gaudy pink bloomers and tights.

Now the Queen was enraged. "Someone's head is going to roll for this!" she roared. Looking around, her eyes finally rested on...Tintin. "YOU!" she screamed. Tintin gulped. "Me?" he squeaked. "YOU!" the Queen thundered. "OFF WITH HIS...!"

"N-Now now, my queen," the King said, trying to calm her. "Consider this, my dear. Should he not have a trial...em...first?" "Hmmm," the Queen pondered. "A trial, you say?" "We'll just have a, erm...little trial?" the King asked. "Very well then," the Queen said more calmly before crying out, "Let the trial begin!"

At that moment, two guards grabbed Tintin's arms and locked them in shackles. Soon, they led him away from the fields and into the castle.


	11. Will Tintin Lose his Head?

Amidst blaring trumpets, it was not long before the guards had escorted Tintin inside the castle and into a dark purple and bright red courtroom. "Get in there, boy!" a guard of spades exclaimed, releasing Tintin from the chains and thrusting him forward to a booth facing the King and Queen's thrones. Beside them lay a desk, where a stork wearing large spectacles sat in front of a typewriter.

Professor Calculus then burst in, blowing his horn in the process. Right after straightening himself, he announced, "Ahem! Huh...Your Majesty, members of the jury...loyal subjects..." "Ahem!" the King said, clearing his throat.

The Professor sighed. "And the king," he said once more. Then, he announced, "The prisoner at the bar...is hereby charged with enticing his majesty to a game of croquet, and thereby willfully..." "But wait, I..." Tintin started to say, but was cut off by the Queen shouting, "SILENCE!" Tintin then sealed his mouth shut.

"...and with malice aforethought," the Professor continued, "teasing, tormenting, and otherwise annoying arb..." "Enough of that!" the Queen ordered. "Skip to the part where I lose my temper." "Oh dear..." Professor calculus sighed, then said, "...thereby causing the queen to lose her temper." He then took a deep breath as he had said this.

"Now, ha ha, then," the Queen said, smirking deviously at Tintin. "My boy, are you ready for your sentence?" "Sentence?" Tintin gulped. "B-But, there has to be some kind of verdict first!" "Sentence first!" the Queen exclaimed. "The verdict after." "That's not how it goes!" Tintin said. "That's not the way!" "All ways are my..." the Queen reminded Tintin. "Ugh...Your ways, Your Majesty. I get it," Tintin sighed.

"That's right, my dear," the Queen said. "Now...Off with his...!" "But wait, my dear!" the King said. "Consider, my darling. Um...we have not called any witnesses. Couldn't we, erm...maybe just one or two? Maybe?" "Oh, very well then. But make it quick!" the Queen said.

"Now...First witness! First witness!" the King announced. "We will now call our first witness." "The March Hare!" the Professor announced. Pretty soon, two guards entered, escorting Chang into the courtroom. At least that was enough to give Tintin a small ray of hope.

"Oh! Oh...Now sir," Professor Calculus asked Chang, "what do you know about this, em...unfortunate affair?" "Me? I know nothing!" Chang replied. "Nothing whatsoever?" the Queen questioned. "Nope. Nothing whatever!" Chang said. "That's important! Jury, write that down," the Queen said as the stork began tapping away at his typewriter.

"Um, unimportant, erm...what your majesty means, of course, is..." Tintin started to say, but the Queen ut him off, shouting, "Silence! Next witness!" "Next witness is...the Dormouse!" Two othe guards brought forth Adbullah, who was still in a lazy state. "Well then..." the Queen said, but the guards quickly shushed her, for Abdullah was still sleepy.

"Now...what do you have to say about this crime?" the Queen asked. "Iiii... _twinkle twinkle, little bat, how I wonder..._ " "Ah, that's the most important piece of evidence we have heard yet!" the Queen said. "Write that!" The stork then began tapping away, writing, "Twinkle twinkle twinkle twinkle twinkle twinkle..." "Twinkle twinkle...What next?" Tintin pressed on.

"Next witness: The Mad Hatter!" Professor Calculus announced. At that moment, a guard escorted Yan forward. "Ah! Ha ha he he he!" Yan was laughing. But the Queen found no humor in her laughter, briefly shouting, "You! Off with your hat!"

"Hmm? Oh! Oh my..." Yan said, slowly removing her hat. "And, erm...where were you when this terrible crime was committed?" the King asked Yan. "Ah well, I was just at home, drinking tea," Yan giggled. "You know, today is my unbirthday!"

"Oh! My goodness!" the King said, turning to the Queen. "Why, my dear! Today is YOUR unbirthday too!" "It is?" the Queen asked, quite surprised. "It is?!" Yan and Chang both asked gleefully. "It is?" all the guards in the courtroom asked. "Well, in that case..." Yan said. Soon, she and Chang, along with the castle guards all started singing, "Aaaaaa...very merry unbirthday!" "To me?" the Queen asked. "To you!" "To you!" everyone else sang.

Tintin could only watch hopelessly as the not-so-planned-out party began to unfold. "No no no, this wasn't supposed to happen!" Tintin muttered.

"A very merry unbirthday!" everyone sang. "For me?" the Queen asked again. "For you!" Yan said, plopping a giant birthday cake in front of the Queen. "Now blow the candle off, my dear, and make your wish come true! Ha ha!" "A very merry unbirthday...To you!" everyone in the whole courtroom chanted as the cake exploded, leaving behind an extravagant crown atop the Queen's head.

As Tintin perked his head up, he noticed that the crown had transformed...into the Cheshire Cat!" "Aha! Your Majesty!" Tintin shouting, pointing to the Queen's head. "Yes, my dear?" The Queen asked. "Look, there she is! The Cheshire Cat!" "Her?" The Queen asked, turning to find no cat. "Where? Who?"

"The Cheshire Cat!" Tintin said, pointing to the Cheshire Cat as she reappeared. "A cat?" the Queen asked. "Cat? Cat?!" Abdullah panicked. "Cat! Cat cat cat cat!" "Wait! Hang on, hang on!" Chang exclaimed. "No, this is terrible!" Yan said. "Cat cat cat cat!" Adbullah cried out. "Help! Help!" Yan cried out.

By then, Abdullah was running around, screaming, "Cat! Cat!" "Catch him! Go for it!" the King cried out. "Catch him!" Yan said. "Give him the jam!" "The jam!" the King ordered. "Get the jam! By order of the king!" "The jam!" Yan cried out, bringing a jar of jam forward and trying to spread it on Abdullah's mouth.

"Let me have it!" the Queen exclaimed, seizing the jar. "Someon's head is going to ROLL for this! Aha ha ha!" Tintin could see this trial was going nowhere. "No, this is really serious!" Tintin mumbled under his breath. "Now how am I gonna-huh?"

As he put his hand in his right pocket, he felt something. He took the object out, revealing it to be a piece of mushroom. "Aha! The mushroom!" Tintin whispered. Then, he quickly realized that he was holding the piece of mushroom that made him grow giant. He had an idea. Instead of just taking a small bite, Tintin popped the whole mushroom in his mouth and began chewing it, eventually swallowing it in one gulp.

"Now then!" the Queen said, practically heating up. "Of with his he-whaaaaa...?" "Hey, Your Majesty!" a voice bellowed. The Queen looked up and gave a gasp of horror. Tintin had grown to gigantic size, towering over the Queen, King, and the guards. The castle guards were practically screaming for their lives.

"Well, what do you know?" Tintin said, his voice seeming to echo through the entire courtroom. "I'm not scared of any of you!" A group of guards began running, but were halted as Tintin picked them up by a handful. "And I see clearly now!" Tintin said, picking up each guard and letting them float to the ground. "You guys are just nothing but a simple pack of cards!"

"Erm...Rule forty-two: all persons more than a mile high must be asked to leave the court immediately!" a frightened King stammered, trying to grasp Tintin's height. "For your information, I'm not a mile high!" Tintin said. "And I am not going!"

"Ah ah ah! Truly sorry, my boy!" the Queen sneered. "Rule forty-two! That's the rule, you know!"

"And as for you, Your Majesty!" Tintin seemed to thunder. "Huh, Your Majesty indeed!" He then took the mushroom in his left hand and popped in his mouth, swallowing it whole. "You, my queen," Tintin said as he started to shrink, "the way I see it...you're not a queen at all! You are just nothing but a fat...pompous...bad-tempered...old..."

By the time Tintin shrank down to the size of a tiny rock, he shouted, "TYRANT!" However, the Queen still remained ignorant. "Hmmm hm hm hm hm," she muttered, smiling devilishly. "And, uh..." she asked, looking down upon a now tiny Tintin, "what were you saying, boy?"

"Ooh! How about I tell you?" a voice asked. Tintin looked up and gasped; the Cheshire Cat reappeared atop the Queen's head! "No no no, don't say!" Tintin pleaded. "Well, he simply said..." the Cheshire Cat started to say. "No please! No!" Tintin begged.

"He simply said that you are not a queen, and that you are just nothing but a fat, pompous, bad-tempered, old tyrant! Haha!" the Cheshire Cat had told the Queen.

Now the Queen was full-on enraged. "Well, that settles it!" she exploded. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" "You heard your majesty!" the King cried out. "Off with his head!"

"Off with his head! Off with his head!" the guards were chanting. Tintin sensed he was in terrible danger and started running away as the castle guards swarmed all around him, chasing him.


	12. It Was All a Dream!

After the madness had unfolded in the courtroom, Tintin began making a dash for the exit as the guards began chasing him once the Queen ordered that Tintin must lose his head. By then, Tintin seemed as if the whole world was beginning to disappear as he was slowly coming around. But Tintin was determined to make it out alive, with his head still in tact.

Tintin dashed out of the castle courtyards, amidst the castle guards madly chanting,

" _Forward, backward,_

 _Inward, outward,_

 _Here we go again!_

 _No one ever loses and_

 _No one can ever win_

 _Backward, forward,_

 _Inward, outward,_

 _Bottom to the top_

 _There's no doubt that_

 _This wee criminal_

 _Will really lose his head!_ "

As Tintin kept on running, he ran past the mad tea party. Chang noticed Tintin running and eagerly followed him, with Yan tagging along. The Queen was now furious than ever, shouting, "Off with his head! Don't let him get away! Off with his head!"

"Wait, sir! Wait!" Chang was yelling out. "You can't leave without having a cup of tea, you know!" "But I can't stop now!" Tintin yelled out. "Can't you see I'm in danger of losing my head?!" "Oh, but we insist!" Yan cried out after Tintin. "You simply must join us for a cup of tea!"

"Off with his head!" the Queen shouted. Tintin sped past the garden, where he encountered the Caterpillar. "Hey! Mister Caterpillar!" Tintin shouted, trying to wave down the Caterpillar. "What should I do?" The Caterpillar simply took a puff of his hookah and simply asked, "You?" He then puffed a few smoke rings, asking, "Who...are...you?"

"Please! I-ack! Cough! Cough-cough!" Tintin wheezed, trying to wave off the smoke. "I-cough cough!" By then, the smoke rings dissolved into the ground as the entire wonderland began to disappear.

Tintin took one look back and noticed all the creatures chasing after him. Leading them was the Queen, who kept on shouting, "There he goes! Don't let that devious little criminal get away! Off with his head! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

As Tintin was trying to run away, he noticed a tiny door at the end of the tunnel. By then, the world around him began to disappear and fade from existence as the creatures pursued him. Finally stopping, Tintin tried to open the door. But it was locked.

"Ooooh!" the Doorknob exclaimed, feeling his nose getting prodded and turned. "You now, boy! I'm still locked, you know!" But the Queen!" Tintin said desperately. "Please! I have to get out of here!"

"Get out?" the Doorknob asked. "Yes, get out!" Tintin said before looking back one last time. "Now get me out of here before I lose my head!" "Oh, but my dear boy," the Doorknob said. "My boy, you alredy are out!"

"I am?" Tintin asked, with urgency in his voice. "See for yourself!" the Doorknob said. He then opened his mouth for Tintin to see. Tintin peered out and gasped. He saw a familiar set of trees along a grassy field. Then he found a large oak tree, where he saw himself lying on the tree's trunk, with Snowy curled up on his lap.

"But, wait a minute," Tintin said. "Th-that's me! And Snowy! But...if that's me right there, then that means..." Tintin suddenly realized the truth dawning upon him all along.

"That's it!" Tintin exclaimed. "I've been asleep this whole time! Then that means I have to wake myself up!" "Don't let that mischievous troublemaker get away!" the Queen shouted. "Off with his head!"

"Hey! Tintin shouted. "Hey, Tintin! Wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up! Please Tintin, please wake up!" Suddenly, Tintin felt the Queen and the other creatures closing in on him. As the wonderland began to disappear, Tintin kept shouting,

"Wake up, Tintin!

Please wake up, Tintin...!

Tintin...!

Tintin...!

Tintin...!

Tintin..."

...

"Tintin! Tintin! Tintin!"

Tintin suddenly felt someone pushing at his shoulder. "Tintin! For heaven's sake, wake up!" Tintin slowly came to, mumbling, "No, Your Majesty. No, don't make me lose my head. I-Wha...? Huh?" Tintin suddenly exclaimed, flailing his arms wildly. His movements then aroused Snowy, who began stretching his legs.

"Tintin!" Heather pressed on again, starting to get annoyed. "Tintin, will you kindly pay attention and recite your history lesson?" By then, Tintin was fully awake. "My what?" he asked. "My-Oh! Oh, yes!" He then straightened himself. Clearing his throat, Tintin began to recite, "Erm...Uh...how does the little crocodile,

Improve his shining tail

And cross the waters of the..."

"Tintin, what kind of nonsense is this?" Heather asked. "Oh!" Tintin said. "Well, you see, that was how the Caterpillar told me to..." "What caterpillar?" Heather asked, confused.

"You see," Tintin said, "it started when I was browsing through the garden, and there were these huge singing flowers. Did I mention one of them looked like my friend Hanna?" "Singing flowers-what are you talking about?" Heather asked.

"And after they sang me this lovely song, they thought I was a flower," Tintin kept saying. "And when I told them I'm not a flower, they thought I was a weed. That's when they threw me out of the garden. That's when I saw these big smoke rings, and they led to this huge caterpillar, where he told me that..."

"Tintin, are you on some kind of new allergy medication?" Heather asked, scolding him. "What is all this nonsense about giant flowers and caterpillars?" "Hmm?" Tintin asked. "Oh, never mind. I'm just finally glad I'm back home, and not in that crazy wonderland. It almost cost me my life. And my head!"

"Oh, for goodness sake, Tintin. You were only dreaming," Heather said. "I think you've had enough nonsense for one day." She then took Tintin's hand. "Oh well. Come along now,'' she said. "Let's go back to Marlinspike Hall. It's time for tea." She and Tintin then began walking away from the park, relieved to have gotten rid of the madness.

...

 _Tintin in Wonderland_

 _Over the hill_

 _Or here or there_

 _Oh, I wonder where_

 _Tintin in Wonderland_

 _How do you get to Wonderland?_

 _Over the hill_

 _Or under land_

 _Or just beyond a tree?_

 _Tintin in Wonderland_

 _Where is that path_

 _To Wonderland?_

 _Over the hills_

 _Or here or there..._

 _I wonder where_

The End!


End file.
